Being pregnant is a beautiful thing. You’re in bloom and looking all glowy despite the stomach-churning bouts of morning sickness or the constant and urgent need to empty your bladder that many experience. For lots of people, being pregnant is a time to celebrate. You’re carrying a child; you have the perfect excuse to overindulge in all the naughty foods that you’ve previously fought hard to stay away from and you have the right to request back rubs and foot massages whenever you please.
Indeed, life is good. But what about the sex? Discovering you’re pregnant comes with a bunch of sex-related questions. Everything from how you should be doing it through to what is regarded as safe could be some of the things you find yourself mulling over in your mind. Even the idea of potentially knocking the baby’s head whilst you bump uglies is a common concern for many women. But please be reassured, your soon to be bundle of joy is tucked away safely in their amniotic sac with the extra protection of your cervix. There really is no need to worry whether a penis or even a sex toy is going to get anywhere near your baby, because the truth is, it won’t. Your baby is truly protected from any thrust and bump that occurs during sex in fact, it’s likely they will continue to bounce around in their perfect little fluid-filled world, completely oblivious to what’s happening on the outside. Having said that, a good rhythm could actually lull your baby to sleep!
Oh yes, pregnancy sex is unlikely to be the same as having non-pregnancy sex, but that absolutely does not mean it can’t be pleasurable. In fact, it’s very much the opposite. Once you get over any initial fears, you might be surprised to know that sex when you are pregnant, may just be the best sex of your life.
Sex when pregnant is still very much an option
Pregnancy sex will be different what with all those rampant hormones and rapid body changes, it’s easy to see how. But here’s a fantastic fact, orgasms are likely to be twice as powerful when pregnant. Why? Well, it’s all thanks to the extra blood flow pumping around your genital area. This can cause your vulva to become engorged resulting in increased sensitivity which in turn can lead to more intense orgasms.
Another benefit of having an orgasm is the release of oxytocin. Oxytocin is a feel-good hormone that can also contribute towards getting a better night’s sleep. Win win right? But wait, there’s more. This particular hormone is also known to increase your pain tolerance levels meaning it can go some way towards helping ease a niggling backache or other pregnancy-related pains. Plus, as an extra bonus, oxytocin is a mood booster that could intensify the feeling of love and joy you feel towards your partner.
Other benefits of sex when pregnant include burning extra calories, lowering your blood pressure and giving your pelvic floor a decent work out which will not only be beneficial during childbirth itself but also, during your body’s recovery period.
Positioning is important
You may be wondering which positions work best and what ones should be avoided. The truth is, there are no specific rules as to what works best. Everyone is different. However, it is advised that by the second trimester, you avoid any position that has you lying on your back for too long or having weight on your stomach.
With that in mind, if it’s penetrative sex that you will be engaging in, getting on top would work well because not only are you in control but there is no pressure on your growing bump. Lying on your side is another great option because the weight is taken off your belly and back plus having your partner embracing you from behind can be super intimate and sexy. Rear entry, also known as doggy style, could be a good choice. You can explore this position in a variety of ways; against a wall, you on their lap, you on all fours, whatever is most comfortable for your really. But of course, if you are going for the all fours option, please ensure your arms and head are resting on the bed so you are not supporting all that baby belly weight too!
There’s more to sex than vaginal penetration
If you’d rather avoid penetrative vaginal sex altogether, anal sex is an option. Again, being comfortable is crucial here. Many pregnant women suffer from haemorrhoids which may render anal sex too painful. A fabulous alternative to getting your rocks off could be oral sex but do take note, air should never be blown into the vagina as this could cause a rare but potentially life-threatening air embolism.
Masturbation is a fantastic option too. Mutual or solo. Some may find they’re only interested in pleasuring themselves in private whilst others may get turned on by the idea of sensual female masturbation together. It really is about whatever works for you. Masturbation can be extremely exciting.
You might want to experiment with sex toys whilst pregnant and why not? If it’s the penetration you’d rather leave out, a good clitoral stimulator will see to your needs. After all the clit is queen and one can enjoy hugely satisfying orgasms through clitoral stimulation alone. If you are opting for the clit stim route, why not add to the fun with some lube. Chances are your pregnant vagina is providing more discharge than usual which in turn provides extra lubrication in itself but throwing some water-based lube into the mix can ramp up the pleasure a few notches. Of course, making that decision is entirely up to you.
Watching a good erotic movie or indulging in some literary erotica be that audio porn or otherwise, might be something else you fancy exploring whilst pregnant. If you’ve been down this route before, you may be familiar with its effectiveness.
Sex in later pregnancy
As mentioned before, sex during pregnancy is generally safe unless you’ve been advised to steer clear based on medical grounds. The one rumour that doesn’t seem to budge is the idea that sex can cause early labour or worse still, induce miscarriage. This is false. Having sex and/or orgasms will not increase your risk in these areas but if you have previously experienced either, you may be advised to avoid sex while pregnant. Your obstetrician will advise you accordingly. However, it is true that sex can trigger a Braxton Hicks contraction during later pregnancy especially. Braxton Hicks are tightenings (contractions) in the womb that may feel like labour contractions but they are not. It’s very common for women particularly in the second and third trimester to experience them but it’s not usually a sign of labour. Just to note, actual labour contractions, tend to increase in length and intensity. As always, if you are concerned, speak to your obstetrician or doctor.
It’s OK not to want it too
Despite all the greenlights and go a heads around having sex while pregnant, some women are just not interested and that’s perfectly normal too. In the first trimester, a number of things can cause a decrease in your libido. Feeling tired and nauseous are probably two of the most common reasons whilst just not feeling it, is possibly just as popular.
It’s undeniable that there is a lot going on when you’re pregnant and for some women, fears play a huge part in their lack of sexual desire. Concerns around infections and/or miscarriage is usually prevalent around this time and as things move along, these feelings may intensify further.
By the second trimester, some women do come to terms with their initial worries and discover a newfound love for their blossoming body. In some instances, sex and passion may be rekindled with an increase in libido – remember those feel good hormones are now running riot! But if sex still doesn’t appeal to you, again that’s perfectly fine. Communication is key here. Whatever it is you are feeling, it’s important you let your partner know and talk about sex. Ensuring they feel reassured can prevent them from feeling rejected and shut out.
By the third trimester, some people are turned off the idea of having sex. It’s understandable really, imagine, the belly is literally an entity in its own right and your body is no longer yours. The tiredness is back and the pregnancy pains are taking you to task. Sex might be the last thing on your mind, plus with all that extra pressure on your pelvis, the idea of having a penis or toy in there, might be a little intimidating. Don’t feel pressured into sex but try to keep up with your intimacy to strengthen your parental bonding.
Final thought of sex when pregnant
The most important thing to remember is; it’s your pregnancy and it’s your body. Only ever do what feels comfortable and right. As outlined earlier, having sex during a healthy pregnancy is absolutely fine but as always, should you experience any unusual pain or bleeding during sex or otherwise, please seek medical attention immediately as it’s definitely better to be safe than sorry.
Pregnancy should be a time of happiness and excitement and your mood and overall health will definitely affect the baby and the pregnancy as a whole, so whatever makes you happy, do that… and lots of it!
