NIPPLEGASM – NO LONGER THE UNICORN OF SEXUAL EXPERIENCE
So nipplegasms what do we think or know? I invited one of our writers and erotic authors Posy Churchgate to delve deeper and explore her findings and those of many other sex writers and bloggers on the mysteries of experiencing nipplegasms and the joys that come with them…
Let’s bust this myth, it IS possible to have an orgasm primarily from nipple play! Not everyone has had one, but my research has led me to believe that if you strive to have one, following some of the tips that I’m sharing here, it is achievable!
This elusive orgasm feels different from a clitoral orgasm or g-spot orgasm. For @Kisungura ”it’s quite a short but intense orgasm that I feel in my nipples, my clit and pussy at the same time like they are all connected.” She noticed that after breastfeeding children, her nipples remained very sensitive, so sex-play often focused on breast and nipple stimulation. She can now orgasm from purely nipple play or a blend of other stimuli, in her words this is what she feels:
The orgasm seems to start in my nipples, in the tips, they become really tingly right beforehand and then it spreads out quickly from there to an O that feels like a clitoral O but with additional nipple sensation. It feels like there is a direct nerve pathway between my nipple(s) and my clit so when my nipples are stimulated, so is my clit, if that makes sense! After, my nipples are really sensitive and tingly and still erect.
It is not limited to the female nipple – all genders of the body have nipples so it’s possible for any to gain pleasure and intensify arousal from stimulation of this area. It doesn’t seem to help or hinder when nipples are pierced (except that use of nipple clamps may be more challenging with piercings – see later content!) Biologically a male nipple may have slightly less sensitivity than a female’s as the nerves there are less spread out and aren’t flooded with the same hormones once puberty kicks in.
Males enjoy nipple play – please know this! Several of the males who responded to my tweet (requesting information on nipplegasms) replied that nipple-stimulation was an essential part of foreplay for them – @BibulousOne said they were like his “On Switch”! This is great to know, emphasising the importance of not ignoring a man’s nipples. Another male contributor, @EuclideanPoint reports nipple suction devices are very effective for him, his nipple sensitivity lasts around 24 hours.
@vicomte0valmont – in his own words:
“Nipple play on me gets me hard more quickly and reliably than anything else I can do with a girl (I’m straight). Though it’s only manifested itself in the last ten years. I remember in my 20s, a girl playing with them and me thinking “is this distraction supposed to be making me feel something?”. But since [being single recently] it’s been very different. Maybe I need the extra intensity since then, I don’t know. One nipple is good, both are exponentially better. And it has to be with a woman – clamps don’t have the effect. I like it with increasing force as I get more aroused, while I masturbate. I like it while having sex too. I don’t orgasm purely from nipple play, but if done right, I often don’t want to switch to oral or penetration and prefer to continue to orgasm. After a long session, it can take a good day for my nipples to recover.”
A theory I harboured before ‘nipplegasm’ feedback began to trickle in was that women with body confidence issues about their breasts might have a mental block to getting pleasure from their nipples, thus preventing them from attaining nipplegasm. I was off-beam. @Romanticisa hasn’t experienced a nipplegasm but she doesn’t particularly enjoy nipple play (those 2 facts may be linked). She loves her breasts, as does her partner, particularly temperature play; many people would agree!
@joannesreviews recalls: “My partner once tied me up, blindfolded me and then used ice-cubes to tease my nipples for ages until I was squirming, then he used his mouth to suck my nipples. The heat from his mouth felt so intense after the ice, I came hard.”
Several sources reported that temperature play (ice cubes, or mouth contact immediately after consuming hot liquid) is a particularly effective way to work towards nipplegasm, but it requires time, so if you only play a little you’ll have pleasure but you’re unlikely to reach ‘nipple nirvana’!
All feedback confirmed that nipple stimulation needs to be quite long drawn out, not the gentle and brief breast play many of us are treated to. Gleaned from a podcast by Dr Emily Morse and her assistant Jamie was the suggestion that general foreplay would be enhanced with the inclusion of 3-5 minutes of breast play early on, sucking on the nipples and/or using finger and thumb, lightly at first, increasing the pressure and massage. They suggested attention be paid to the sensitive under-breast – “kiss and caress it as if it was the clitoris.”
Further advice for men was to think of foreplay like a ‘movie’ and avoid trying to ‘jump to the middle’ (i.e. focusing on the clitoris too soon!) Far better, Dr Morse advised, to have the ‘elevator’ approach and stop on every floor! In her early days of sexual discovery, @more_matters experienced a breast-touching-only nipplegasm at a party.
@InaMorataWriter likes nipple sucking and some temperature play but needs to be aroused already. Rolling or squeezing nipples irritates her and she cannot bear impact play in the breast area – Ina has yet to experience a nipplegasm.
@joannesreviews told me: “I have had nipplegasms but don’t have them often as they take much longer to achieve than clitoral or vaginal orgasms so generally when I play it is quickies rather than drawn-out sessions. When in the mood though I like to use nipple suckers to tease my nipples, they swell to almost double their usual size doing this and get very, very sensitive. I can then tease and tweak them to an orgasm.”
While many male partners happily engage in nipple stimulation, my findings suggest they don’t spend long enough to help their partner reach nipplegasm. Nor do they know when gentle play should switch up to firmer, rougher stimulation. Indie @midnightoasis64 stated that licking between her breasts made her aroused while stimulating them as part of other forms of masturbation increased her arousal. Her preference was for pinching or ‘slicing’ (a side to side scratch motion with the fingernail) her nipples, reporting this sent a ‘lightning bolt’ sensation to her pussy. As her arousal built she found a firmer touch more satisfying.
Violet @fireandhoney says for her it is a simple equation
Time + Hard Suction = Orgasm
A key element was increased blood flow to the nipple area. @Kisungura states: “any type of nip stim [brings them on] but it tends to be more from repeated stimulation, movements such as pulling, pinching, sucking, tonguing, rubbing and twisting, as long as it’s repetitive. It can be from stimulating one nipple alone or both at the same time or moving between one and the other.” @wriggly_kitty explained that she finds gentle nipple play annoying, much preferring harder stimulation such as pinches and nips with teeth or impact play (around breast but avoiding directly hitting the nipple). This sends a pleasure signal directly to her clit which pushes her over the edge and makes her orgasm stronger. @Mollysdailykiss had similar to report, although she does not climax from nipple play only, rather a combination with clitoral stimulation. Molly and Kitty both enjoy breast slapping but not directly on their nipples – they are far too sensitive.
Another in the gang of females whose nipplegasm required rougher breast treatment was @DivaFoof who enjoys her nipples bitten or pulled and can stand quite a high level of pain (for instance – magnetic orb style nipple clamps are ineffective for her as they’re too weak!) Jo experiences a full orgasm this way – her breasts are natural and she doesn’t have piercings.
For @curiousclitty to attain a nipplegasm she advocates frequency of stimulation, liking her breasts sucked and bitten or abrasion play focused on her nipples. Nipple stimulation does not have to be rough but rather constant – Clitty loves her boobs but has recently had her nipples pierced. @PixieHeartblog (also with pierced nipples) enjoys someone standing behind her rolling and twisting her nipples in their fingers – the pressure should go from gentle to rough and she likes it accompanied by dirty talk.
Many people who responded to my plea for information on how they achieved nipplegasm reported that it happened when they moved into rougher types of nipple play.
@joannesreviews had another example: “Other ways [to have a nipplegasm] is to get aroused and then use nipple sticks or clamps on my nipples, these feel very intense and if I edge myself, then suddenly remove the clamps the rush I get as blood flushes into the nipples swelling them again can cause me to orgasm.”
@PixieHeartblog says ‘bring it on’ to the rough play! She likes her nipples bitten hard, to the point of bleeding, as this makes her cum hard and fast!
@ZebraRoseSub reported she used to hate nipple play but now she loves it “the crueller the better” but says no to drawing blood.
At this point I should reference the feedback I got from folk below who are ‘kinksters’, enjoying the slightly darker range of sex play and those into BDSM.
@_floss_84, who creates a wonderful BDSM podcast with her partner, reports that her nipplegasms feel like “a series of mini ripples rather than a full orgasm”. She has only achieved them since exploring BDSM. Licking and sucking her nipples gives Floss more pleasure than licking her clitoris! She used to dislike her boobs but now they’ve come into their own, she likes clamps used on her nipples in order to nipplegasm from the sensation of the blood rushing back.
In his blog @BibulousOne describes his play partner Katie being tied up during a scene and reaching orgasm purely from her nipples being twisted and stroked.
Also during subspace* @fairycakesland is very aroused by having her nipples slapped, sucked and pulled which leads to a very intense orgasm. She also loves nipple suckers or a vibrating wand applied to her breast/nipple area.
@PixieHeartblog reported that holding a bullet vibrator against her pierced nipples achieves a very quick but intense orgasm. She also likes her breasts bound then tortured and mauled suggesting a lunge whip, nipple clamps or hot wax.
@victoriablisse is a masochist and describes what she achieves as a nipplegasm or paingasm. She gets very strong orgasmic feelings from nipple play in the range of intense pain, advocating the use of electro-stim clamps. Victoria loves receiving and having bruises, so stimulating a bruise along with nipple play can tip her into a nipplegasm too.
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I’d like to try to sum up this barrage of information by giving some top tips which could lead to achieving a nipplegasm, but my findings led me to believe a ’rider’ is necessary. The blanket term ‘nipple stimulation’ is going to work on a sliding scale – if the nipple owner is someone whose sex life is at the vanilla end of the scale then the stimulation required is likely to be low-level pinching, twisting, sucking. If, however, you are more hard-core and you’re into regular pain play then the stimulation your nipples can endure/ will find thrilling is likely to be further up the scale of slapping, biting, clamps etc.
Nipplegasm: 10 Top Tips
Take the Time!
We’ve heard over and over, this orgasm takes time to achieve. Plenty of time and attention will need to be lavished on your nipples to get them humming with the sensitivity required for a nipplegasm.
Experiment to Find What Works
It may be better to do this alone, but if your partner is keen to learn, by all means, discover together! Find the places you like to be touched and how you like it! Gentle or rough, or one building to the other. Pinches, slashes, twisting, biting, slaps – these are all acceptable but what do your nipples like?
Given that this stimulation is going to be constant and repetitive, start with more gentle pressures and impacts but build up gradually to the harder pinching, tugging and slapping which your nipplegasm may require.
So many of my sources named temperature play that you should really give this a go. Sliding an ice cube over and around your nipples is bound to be fun. Holding it there till your nipple goes numb and then enveloping the nipple with a hot mouth – I can almost feel the pleasure spike!
Increased Blood Flow
This is easily done by sucking – your partner should use their mouth – encourage them to be more vigorous than they usually would. It can’t be a fluke that several ladies found increased nipple sensitivity after having children – get your lover to suck on your breast to truly elongate the nipple.
The soft end of the scale are nipple suckers: these will pull blood into the nipple and can be left on. There are others which suck on the nipple and then tiny rubber bands are rolled off them onto the nipple to maintain the engorged state. Further down the pain scale, there are nipple clamps of various styles (clover clamps are not for the faint-hearted) and BDSM folk might try the humble clothes peg!
Sex Toys on your Nipples
Try your vibrator or wand held against the nipple area. If you have a clitoral stimulator toy, test what the ‘suck’ of that feels like on your areola. If you’re into kinky play take the pinwheel for a ‘spin’ over that sensitive breast tissue and if you’re more of a spanky type get your partner to slap your breast with a bare hand, paddle, crop or flogger.
Be Aware of Your Cycle
Nobody gave me feedback on this but I know many females find their breasts extra sensitive at certain times of the month, and this may mean you should dial down the impact or pain involved in your nipple play, or just plain avoid it. Similarly, if you are pregnant or breastfeeding, listen to your own body’s likes/dislikes.
Breasts Aren’t Fragile!
Well they are to start off with, and that’s why you should start to play gently, but once arousal has built you’ll be amazed how resilient they are and how much you like having them mauled around! You may also find you quite like the ‘tenderness’ reminders you experience the next day, as their increased sensitivity reminds you of what you did!
This has nothing to do with achieving a nipplegasm! Do it if you like the look, but not as a way to increase sensitivity. None of my ‘pierced’ researchers made any reference to it enhancing breast stimulation. Some said the opposite: after healing their nipples felt more numb, plus any problems with the piercing and your nipples might feel too sore to be played with. Some nipple clamps are not advised for pierced nipples.
Subspace* – a definition: A state of being experienced by a submissive person in a BDSM scenario. There is physiological subspace and psychological. The first can be accessed through sustained pain play e.g. floggers, paddles, or the dominant’s bare hands. Subspace commonly occurs when a submissive experiences pain administered by their dominant during a BDSM scene. Instead of using the safe word, the sub may begin to disassociate and ‘move’ out of their body. In this experience, the sub’s body fights the pain with hormones and endorphins. This state may also be described as flying or floating.
With grateful thanks to my contributors for sharing their experiences:
Kisungura : mycontrolledascent.com
Vicomte de Valmont
Joanne : tinyurl.com/Joanne’sReviews
RomanticIsa : isabellelauren.com
Dr Emily Morse : sexwithemily.com
May Moore: ifsexmatters.co.uk
Ina Morata: ina-morata.com
Indigo Byrd : midnight-athe-oasis-64
Violet Fawkes : violetfawkes.com
Kitty : wrigglykitty.com
Molly : mollysdailykiss.com
Petticoat Diva Jo
Clitty : curiousclitty.wordpress.com
Pixie : submissiveheart.co.uk
Zebra : knkstriped.com
Amy : coffeeandkink.me
Floss : flossdoeslife.com
Fairy Cake : fairycakesland.com
Victoria : victoriablisse.co.uk