© Ivan Alifan


This confession is also available as an Audio …

How do you become a submissive?

There’s no course out there you take. It’s just part of you—you like specific things about the scene. I knew I liked it from the first time, I got tied up and spanked.
I went through all the normal stages of dating and that didn’t work for me, so I slowly worked out what I liked. I looked through all the profiles on FetLife, and tried to work out where I fit—am I a top or a sub?

But then there’s an extra thing with me, that always changes the perspective of the lover—and that is that I am blind.

I am not perfect and that is what puts people off me. Well as far as I could work out. So I got a personal trainer, I worked out and have a fairly good body now. So let’s take the plunge.

I opened the app, and this is probably the wrong thing to do, but I stared at my tablet and downed a shot of whisky, I just picked at random the first mistress I liked. Mary stood out, she was into rubber and leather-like me. I had my usual concern—how do you tell someone that you are blind? It’s a minefield. Most people go with the stereotype of the completely blind person. I do have some sight, but trying to explain to a normal person, normally leads to a very quick, no thanks let’s just be friends, conversation. Lucky with Mary once I spent some time explaining the whole sight thing we got around it, and we started dating like any normal person. I sent her a message, we arranged to meet in a bar in town called the Monkey House.

I got there too early. She creaked up to me, and I could smell her leather trousers, and a white silk shirt that as she sat down, brushed up against me. As she did this I could hear a tinkle of bells, my fingers brushed against her nipples, I could feel her piercings, she breathed in and she moved my hands off her large size E chest. I know you are asking how could I tell the size, well it’s one of my special skills, I can work out how big a woman’s breasts are from just feeling them. I was already on my second shot of whisky. When she turned and smiled at me, I smiled back and with one move, which I was not expecting, she picked up the wine and downed it. Her now free hand, which I noticed had bright blue nails, it was just a guess, but we had discussed this on our messages. I hoped it was that colour, I asked and she just smiled back at me. Her hand moved down to my balls under the table. I breathed in and she smiled back. A deadly smile that told me everything, I looked down and felt her nails pinching my balls and giving them a squeeze.

I knew then she was for me.

One thing I have a big turn on for is voices. For me, the voice is more important than the face or a large pair of breasts. From the minute I heard that Scottish lilt mixed with rough cigarettes and a splash of Mancunian my soul melted. I learned more about her while we drank through a lot of cocktails, by the end of the date I wanted to go home with her.

She stretched out on top of me on the leather sofa, and I could smell the leather mingling with her juices. I could smell her strong sweet perfume, some mix of Tonga Bean and Vanilla. This was an ironic perfume, for somebody who was far from sweet or vanilla. I was trying to guess things without really knowing, I expected her hair to be blonde, but after feeling it, and moving my hands over her face, my mind mapping kicked in, and I could tell more, I worked out that she had black hair, once my brain processed there were no colours in her skin that would make up blonde. I did, of course, ask her, and found out that I was right, but not on everything. I am a gentleman, and even though she had spread her lovely silky leather trousers out on my lap, and allowed me to get my hands very close to her wet pussy. I felt really bad about going any further. We had only known each other for a couple of hours. So I got a taxi back home alone.

So what was our next move?

We kept talking by text, I was pushing for a meet, which did take time. She kept setting me tasks.

I finally got my chance at touching her divine body. But it came with strings, we would meet at the cinema, I would have no choice in what film we saw, and there would be a challenge set for me.

I got there and found that the new Mission Impossible film was on, which was great, as we had discussed how much we liked Tom Cruise films. She turned up in something I was not expecting, a loose black skirt and basic top that still showed off her piercings, that as she came close made that fantastic sound of little bells. Her long black hair was down her back, and if you didn’t know what I knew you would just think that it was a normal couple going to the cinema.

I got the tickets and we walked up the stairs to the main screen. I made sure that I used my cane, all the time, as I didn’t want her thinking that I needed her help to get around. Before we got that far she smiled and told me to take her to the toilets. I walked into the disabled toilet, and she locked the door.

She looked into my eyes and commanded me to take my trousers and boxers off. I did and then she took me by the neck and forced me over the toilet. I could feel her hands on my back, drawing circles with her fingers and digging her nails into my bum cheeks. Then she moved to her large bag, I could hear her searching for something. She produced a large object and placed it in my hand to smell—a large bulb of ginger. She had cut it into the shape of a small cock. She smiled at me and pushed one finger into loosening me up she spat onto my ass and stuck another finger in. There were so many smells too, I could smell her perfume and them something clinical, and then the smell of sweet ginger, of course when I process this all later, I worked out, that she had covered the ginger in a sweet-smelling lube. The next thing I felt was her nails on me again, and that smell of ginger, then suddenly I felt it go into my ass, she must had pushed the whole stem of ginger, in, not all at once so It didn’t hurt me, but bit by bit, till the head and half of the stem went in. I breathed in and then heard it pop in and I was plugged.

She slapped my bum, knowing that I was hers.

Now if you’ve never had this done to you how can I explain how it feels, there is, of course, a burn from the ginger, but at the same time, it feels so good. It is like a small degradation of pain that the more you sit on it the better it gets.

Before we left, she took out her favourite diamond-tipped nipple clamps and snapped them roughly onto my engorged nipples. She smiled and pulled them hard with her fingers, till they made a great sound. I walked out in front of her as a slave must do trying to keep everything inside me. I found our seats and started to relax into the pain. It was burning in my pants, but I deserved that.

She looked into my face and started to eat her popcorn, she leant into me, my hands went around her neck and found the right spot to massage, about halfway down. I could feel the aircon on her neck and it was so cold, it was building up, a frost of goosebumps. I could tell she liked this, I could also feel that her top was stuck to her and as I went past her nipples I could feel and see how the cold air, had made them hard.

She was wearing a silver necklace, I could not resist holding the silver, and gently pull it, she enjoyed this, as she asked me to pull it harder. I was not getting away from her touching me—she still had plans for my body. As the action played out on screen, her hands wandered over my nipples, which she squeezed. Her hand moved down to my cock, which by now was rock hard.

I concentrated on the screen and could feel her fingers stabbing into my balls and slowly working up and down my cock. I was getting very close which she could feel and she stopped and laughed at me every time I got close to coming.

How I got through that film without exploding, I do not know. The credits rolled, and somehow I managed to move, in a haze of lust, and pain and frustration. The cinema emptied and we were still there, I had not noticed that her legs were wrapped around me, she took her hands and with one move, ripped off the nipple clamps. I could not scream as at the same time her mouth was on mine, she spat into it and them kissed me hard on the lips, and her mouth connected with mine, and she bit my lip till the blood came.

She got up and we moved to the sofas, at the back of the cinema. I sat down and before I could breathe again she sat on me. I could not speak as her lips were on mine, she whispered in my ear, while biting it, “I so want you to lick my pussy pet”. I could do nothing.

She moved on top of me, and I could now see why she wore such a loose skirt, underneath she had nothing on, her pussy was smooth, from being recently shaved. I could feel her lust she wanted me. She looked into my eyes and commanded me to lick her. I lay back on the sofa, and felt her wiggle up my body before she got to my face, I leaned in, and moved my lips around her lips, they tasted so good, I licked and licked, she wanted more, she snarled at me.

“Get your head in”. I took off my glasses, and as she opened her legs further, I could smell her lust, and I breathed in and sucked into my mouth, her plump cunt, it was so wet, I breathed and breathed on it, pussy licking it all up and down, I could feel she was enjoying this, as she started to buck onto my face I tried to get more of my nose in, and my forehead. She kept bucking onto me and I could feel her nails going into me at the same time. I got my whole nose, in and started to lap at her very wet pussy. She started to grind down on my face, she got hold of my head and forced it in further.

I could not breathe, I could not think but kept licking, and licking and licking until she forced herself down, and with one movement came all over my face. I went to find a tissue in my bag, but she swiped my hands away. She smiled and laughed at me, “You are going out with my juices on your face, so everyone knows that you are my pet.”

I had no choice but to obey her, I was so hers, by now, she could have done anything to me. I walked out of the cinema knowing that things had changed for the better.

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