There was a time when a sex toy guide might not have been necessary, as the choices usually fell into two categories: rabbit vibrators or phallic dildos. You might have been lucky to find a discreet bullet vibe in the shape of the lipstick, but the range definitely focused on penetration as necessary for pleasure.
Fast forward less than a decade, and the choice is now phenomenal. From app-controlled couples’ stimulators to Fleshlights, strap-ons, air pulse technology and even sex toys that wouldn’t look out of place in an art gallery setting. Adult toys are taking over! Because of the vast array out there, it can be fairly daunting to decide what might be best for you and your body. Sex toys have become much more inclusive, taking into account different abilities, body types and genitals, so we’ve put together a sex toy guide to help you understand what’s available and what each category of product does to who and where! Modern sex tech can come with rather a large price tag, too, so arming yourself with as much information as possible and trying to ensure you are not taking too much of a gamble on something that might not suit you is our aim.
A lot of sex toys might be separated by gender, which can become problematic, especially as what feels nice on a clitoris might also feel fantastic on the frenulum of the penis, and people with those body parts might not identify as men or women. Luckily for all of us, there are definite crossovers, especially with anal toys; after all, we can all, theoretically, at least, use a butt plug, and it can feel fantastic to indulge in some anal fun.
We’ll also be including a section on best practices for sex toy use which will detail how to care for your toys and what products go together to give you confidence and boost your enjoyment of sex toys.
Introduction to sex toys
Sex toys, in the not-too-distant past, used to be known as ‘marital aids’, so you can see how hetero-normative it all used to be. It also hints that you might be using a sex toy because of a problem in the bedroom department. Thankfully, the language surrounding sex toy use and attitudes have changed. Sex toys are a way to enhance your sex life, whether solo or partnered and to find out just what kind of stimulation works for you. Introducing sex toys into your sexual repertoire can make for some fantastic explorations and stronger orgasms.
What are sex toys?
So just what are sex toys? The broad definition is a product which can be used to give sexual pleasure, this can include other items such as ball gags, and handcuffs, which while not exactly giving genital stimulation, add to the overall experience and heighten the moment.
Who can use sex toys?
Sex toys are for all adults, no matter your sexual identity, gender, or anything else. They are great tools to explore your body and pleasure in your own way. It is entirely normal and life-enhancing to seek sexual satisfaction and orgasm, whether that’s alone through masturbation or having sexual experiences with other people. Sex should be fun, affirming and satisfying. It can bring deep intimacy, and using sex toys can be an amazing way to strengthen the bonds in a relationship. Those who play together stay together, after all! Perhaps you are in a long-distance relationship, or your partner is away for the night, and you might be craving their touch. You can even have sex on the other side of the world thanks to app-based and remote-controlled sex tech. Far from being a substitute for a partner, it can keep the fire burning within a relationship, once you open the door to new levels or orgasmic release, you’ll see they just keep opening!
Start with an innocent external clit pebble, and who knows where it might lead? Sex toys can offer you new sensations that you didn’t even know you were capable of. We can all get stuck in our ways, and this can even include our orgasms. Perhaps you found a nice, easy way to help yourself drift off to sleep at night—the swift, familiar method giving you a guaranteed climax. Yes, it’s lovely, but think about the last time you actually seduced yourself or took the time to try something new. Sex toys and pleasure products can help you on your way to sexual self-discovery. It needn’t feel like there is anything missing from your sex life or masturbation to use a sex toy, they are there to enhance, not replace. They offer stimulation and sensations that you might never have felt before. And that’s magic. In your relationships, sharing sex toys and the effect they have can be hugely exciting. Watching your lover come in new ways can be deeply erotic.
How to bring sex toys into your play
If you’re still wondering how to bring up toys with your partners, the answer is simple: with open and judgement-free communication. Using sex toys is fun, and the conversation should be treated as such. My favourite way to bring up toys to a new partner is either to mention to them over the message that I love using a wand/strap-on/ whatever toy I’m vibing with at the moment or simply to say in person, “Can I show you my favourite sex toy?”.
If I want to use a toy on a new partner, I’ll always bring this up before we start having sex so as not to spring the idea onto them in the throes of passion. Whatever stage of the relationship you’re at, a playful way to delve deeper into your toybox is to hold a toy ‘Show and Tell’. The concept is simple. Both of you bring your toys, you present them to each other and explain how you usually use each toy. You can use your words, demonstrate on your body, or do both. If inspiration strikes and you can see other ways it would be fun to play with them, tell your partner. Or even better, show them. Sex toys couples can share only add extra creativity to the bedroom.
How to use sex toys to maximise pleasure
When you’re playing with toys, they become an extension of yourself. You’ll use your intuition to move with the rhythm of your person—following their responses, movements and the flow of their breath. Even with the best intuition, you won’t be able to completely feel the point at which the toy makes contact with their body, so use verbal communication to ask them for feedback. Ask them if the toy is in the right place or if they want more pressure or vibration. Asking simple yes or no questions makes it easy for your person to respond without overthinking while they’re receiving stimulation.
Wetter is better. Toys aren’t self-lubricating, and friction is not your friend. Whether you’re using a penis toy, a vibrator, a dildo or a butt plug, lube makes every movement feel so much smoother. This is especially true when you’re playing with the backdoor, as the ass is not self-lubricating. Don’t be shy with the wet stuff, either. Use a generous amount, and don’t be afraid to go back in for more.
Experiment with different settings and types of stimulation. Sometimes a little trial and error is required to maximise pleasure—this might be playing with different patterns of vibration, the length and speed of the strokes you’re using with a masturbation sleeve, or the depth and angle at which you’re using a dildo. Continue practising clear communication with your person to find the most pleasurable way to use the toys.
Sensory play
Using toys in the bedroom can be a full-body experience. Playing with sensory deprivation is one of my favourite ways to intensify stimulation and build tension. Introducing a blindfold, hood, or noise-cancelling headphones can add an element of suspense but also help the receiver to fully melt into the sensations which are being bestowed upon them.
As well as limiting the senses, you can play with widening the range of sensations your person is feeling by introducing temperature play. This works particularly well with glass or metal toys which conduct heat incredibly well. If you have a metal toy, like the Njoy Pure Wand, you can submerge it into cool or warm water to adjust its temperature. Playing with temperature brings a new dimension to your toys, and the unexpected sensation is both exciting and erotic. Always test the temperature on your palm or inner thigh before using the toy on your person.
Beyond toys that stimulate the genitals are other sensory tools. Turn your play session into a full-body experience and introduce feathers and silk scarves for sensual teasing and pegs or clamps to delve into the pain end of the spectrum.
Playing with power dynamics
Toys can act as props to help you to lean into your dominant or submissive side. Any experienced kinkster will tell you that BDSM doesn’t always equate to pain. Pleasure is a valuable tool in any kinky person’s arsenal, too.
Toys pair incredibly well with restraints. You can bind your partners’ hands with a scarf, cuffs or rope if you know how, and instruct them not to take their eyes off you while you pleasure yourself with your favourite toys. When you’re satisfied, you can turn your attention to your restrained partner and use your toys on them. Being tied up gives the submissive partner permission to receive without any pressure to reciprocate—something that can be very freeing for people who have a tendency to overthink during sex.
Over-stimulation play is another fun way to play with power. This is when you use powerful vibrations or quick motions to deliver more stimulation than is necessary, perhaps continuing stimulation way past the point of climax or going in for rounds two and three relentlessly. When playing with power dynamics, always discuss your desires and boundaries before play begins and have a safe word or traffic light system in place (where green means go, amber means I’m nearing my limit/let’s ease things up, and red means stop).
On the flip side of over-stimulation is edging. Using your toys, take your partner to the brink of orgasm and then stop stimulating them completely. Repeat as many times as possible, and the eventual climax will be incredibly intense.
Using rope or bondage straps, you can attach a toy to your bottom’s body and then step back to observe your handiwork. Stimulating your partner can be tiring, and there’s something delicious about seeing your person reacting in a big way whilst you’re serenely taking in the view. Bondage, in particular rope, is a whole skill set in itself and requires a high level of risk awareness, so learning the appropriate technical and safety skills is recommended. You can learn a lot of sex and kink skills online through articles and videos, but picking up a skill like this at a workshop is something I highly recommend.
Main types of sex toys
You may be familiar with many sex toys already, we’ve mentioned rabbit vibrators and dildos, but there’s a whole host more which we’ll break down into categories for you to peruse. There are toys to pleasure the penis, such as the Fleshlight, a well-known brand of male masturbator which is essentially a silicone sleeve that mimics an orifice for the penis to be inserted in to, there’s wands which can be plugged into mains power for mind-blowing, head-spinning climaxes to smaller discreet bullet vibrators you can conceal in your bag or pocket. Sex toys can be used in partnered or solo play, and certainly not one size fits all. The main types are clitoral toys, vaginal toys, anal toys, penis pleasers and the subcategory of others. You can spend just a few pounds for your pleasures right up to actual sex machines, which can run into the thousands. Or if you’re feeling really swish, you could splash out of a solid gold vibrator from Lelo.
Sex toys for her
Traditionally, products aimed at pleasing the vulva and clitoris have been known as sex toys for her. As we are beginning to come into a more inclusive era, design-wise and otherwise, toys which have been once known as ‘female’ or ‘male’ are now being shown to not only be gender-free in terms of packaging and language but also sex toys designers are becoming less prescriptive about who can put what where! A wand vibe might feel incredible on the pussy, but the vibrations can also feel great on the perineum, causing external prostate stimulation. So when you see the term sex toys for her, take a good look and use your imagination to decide if some of the stimulation might be good for other parts of the body, too. For example, nipple clamps are often marketed as adult toys for women, but a lot of people have sensitive nips and might be missing out on a fun and very exciting erogenous zone. And equally, some women might be completely indifferent to breast play.
Vaginal sex toys
Sex toys intended for the vagina usually mean penetration, and some of the best female toys and pussy products make a great deal out of penetration. Let’s look at categories.
Vaginal Sex Toys | Description |
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Bullet Vibrators | Small, bullet-shaped vibes usually made of ABS plastic or silicone, some are insertable. |
Dildos | Non-vibrating, phallus-shaped toys, often made of silicone, come in various shapes and sizes. |
Vibrators | Include classic, rabbit, G-spot, and ride-on styles, designed for internal and external stimulation. |
Kegel Balls | Small balls for pelvic training and pleasure, can vibrate or be app-controlled. |
Vibrating Love Eggs | Insertable eggs with vibrating features, can have remote control for added discretion. |
Ben Wa Balls | Hollow balls with internal weights that move, creating pleasurable sensations in the pelvic area. |
Bullet
- A small, hard, bullet-shaped vibe usually made from ABS plastic or silicone. As mentioned earlier, bullet vibrators aren’t necessarily intended for penetrative use, but some are waterproof and, therefore, insertable. Due to their smaller size bullet vibes might be a great entry point to penetrative toys. They can be slim and short but also pack a real punch when it comes to power. Definitely small but mighty.
Dildo
- Non-vibrating yet insertable toys, often phallus-shaped. Again, in the past, dildos were almost seen as a penis substitute, and for many years, they were made to look exactly like one.
- Carved from bone, wood, stone, almost anything has been used as a dildo at some point, from fruit and veg to a hairbrush handle. Luckily for us, companies have dedicated their professional careers to designing the most ergonomic and satisfying shaped dildos.
- Silicone is the most commonly used material as it is easy to form into any shape, and good companies will ensure safety. Always check that the silicone product you’re choosing is of medical or platinum grade for body-safe compatibility. Because of its properties, silicone is exceptionally versatile and the raw ingredients can be poured into any shape at all. Artisan companies may produce fantasy dongs in all shapes, colours, and sizes to accommodate every taste, and others may employ the velvety soft blend to suit your preferences. You’d be amazed at just how far some dildo connoisseurs will go to find the perfect shape. The surfaces can vary greatly, from super slippery and smooth to velvety and slightly grippy to offer some grab. Some are designed for girth for those who enjoy the feeling of being stretched and filled which can be immensely pleasurable. Dildos can be formed in the shape of fists or other body parts. There’s actually no limit to the shape they can take on—alien cock, anyone?
- Suction cup dildos keep the toy secure, great for in the shower or for threesome fantasies on the wall, chair or floor.
- Dildos can be used in a harness for strap-on sex, double-ended for partner sex, or used for double or more penetration fun—they are a very versatile addition to your collection.
Vibrators
- Vibrations have long been discovered to produce deep pleasurable sensations rippling through the body. Innovators found a way to combine these vibrations into the didoes, and here we go!
- Classic vibrators—The most straightforward design has a simple shaft design with different power/vibration settings. It has controls and an insertable shaft. Classic vibrators come in many different sizes, power levels and price ranges.
- Rabbit Vibrators – Probably the most famous of vibrators is the Rabbit, made very popular by the TV show Sex in the City. It has seen many adaptations over the years, with companies exploring many ways to add more power, tweak the shape and ultimately make you come! Vibrators, just like dildos come in many shapes and sizes limited only by tech and imagination. There are cross-overs between categories. For example, the rabbit has an insertable shaft with a protrusion near the base, which also vibrates against the clitoris. This dual stimulation is designed to give you a blended orgasm—an orgasm where internal and external pleasure meet. Blended orgasms have been the holy grail for many designers. The rabbit vibe got its name from the clitoral stimulation point resembling rabbit ears to stimulate the clit on either side.
- G-spot vibrators – These are ergonomically designed vibes which are curved to hit the G-spot on the anterior wall of the vagina. These can be products by themselves or double up with the extra clit stim like a rabbit, or even air pulse clit sucker toys clit sucker too for the ultimate blended orgasm experience.
- Ride-on vibrators – Blooming in popularity, small saddle-style ride-on vibrators such as the Ruby Glow offer a full vulva massage without penetration. This means that people who experience pain with penetration, have conditions like vaginismus or endometriosis, or are on their period can still enjoy sexual stimulation and orgasmic release.
Kegel balls
- These balls start small and were a way for training the vagina and pelvic region back to strength after childbirth to ease prolapse and urinary incontinence.
- Now they are also used as pleasure products; some vibrate, and others are even app-controlled so you can monitor the progress of your strength training. Stronger pelvic muscles lead to stronger orgasms, too, so these little beauties should not be overlooked in your sex toy arsenal.
Vibrating Love eggs
- These sit within the vagina and vibrate against the G-spot. Clenching your muscles around the egg can accentuate the pleasurable feelings. Some vibrating eggs have a wired control which hangs outside the body, whereas others have a remote control allowing for more discretion.
- Other vibrating love eggs like have become incredibly sophisticated with external protrusions for clit stimulation which can be used during partnered sex, too, and great for added stimulation during good old penis-in-vagina sex.
Ben wa balls
- Also known as jiggle balls, Venus balls and orgasm balls, among other names, are two connected hollow balls ranging in sizes which contain a spherical weight inside which moves around as you do, causing pleasurable sensations to undulate through your pelvis and beyond. By changing your movements, you can direct the pleasure, and the fact that you have to hold them in place with your vaginal muscles means you can have real control over the strength of sensation.
Clitoral sex toys
Among the best toys for women and anyone lucky enough to have a clitoris are products aimed at stimulating this magic organ. As a part of the body which is purely there for pleasure, it is quite right that we have many toys aimed at this perfect spot.
Clitoral toys of the past have tended to be vibrating and pinpointed to the clitoral head at the top of the vulva. Now we’re more educated about the anatomy of the clitoris, we know it has fronds that reach within the body, surrounding the vaginal canal and along the sides of the vulva. This means designers have their work cut out for them in finding new ways to stimulate all parts of the mighty clitoris.
There are always going to be cross-overs in where and how sex toys work, and clitoral toys can fall into this category.
Clitoral Sex Toys | Description |
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Bullet Vibrators | Small, pinpointed vibrators focusing on clitoral stimulation. |
External Massagers | Larger than bullets, can offer a full vulva massage. |
Air Pulse Technology | Clit-sucking toys that use air pulses for indirect stimulation. |
Grinders | Ride-on toys designed for grinding and personalised control over stimulation. |
Wearable Panty Vibes | Hands-free vibes worn in panties, often remote-controlled for added excitement. |
Wands | Powerful, often large vibrators, some are rechargeable and can be used for full-body massages. |
Finger Vibes | Small vibrators attached to the finger for added stimulation during masturbation or play. |
We’ll start with toys purely focused on the clit.
Bullets
- Bullet vibrators are small, sleek bullet-shaped vibrations made usually from ABS plastic. The end tapers to a point for direct stimulation, and they usually have several settings and a vibration pattern.
External massagers
- Pebble or palm-held clitoral vibrators are larger than a bullet or pinpoint vibes and offer a larger area for clit stim and allow for grinding against the toy, held in place in your palm. The base material is hard, but unlike the bullet vibes, they can be coated in super soft silicone for a full vulva massage.
Air pulse technology
- Also known as clit sucking toys, air pulse technology has boomed in popularity, with most leading sex toy manufacturers getting in on the air pulse action, but they have been around since the mid-2010s. The air pulse, or clit sucking toys, offer dedicated indirect stimulation by placing a nozzle over the actual head of the clitoris, making a vacuum where the motion of the motors inside causes a sucking around the clit. These little suckers can also be used to stimulate the nipples and have been shown to have great sexy results. Suction toys need a good airtight fit, and so require the use of lube to ensure success. They are also good to use in the bath or shower, and this is quite a sensible place to use them as there have been many reports of people squirting for the first time with these types of toys. We took the Womanizer Liberty for a ride, and the results were unexpectedly good.
Grinders
- Grinders and ride-on sex toys are designed to offer the user control over how hard and fast the clitoral stimulation is. One example is the Ruby Glow, one of the first saddle-style vibes on the market, designed purely for grinding. While the full vulva might benefit from a lovely massage, the user can pinpoint their own pressure on their clitoris.
Wearable panty vibes or butterfly vibes
- These vibes add a saucy element to date night solo or partnered. Wearable knicker vibrators are worn in the panties against your clit, perhaps held in place by a clip or magnet, offering hands-free stimulation whenever you feel like it! Remote controls add extra fun.
Wands
- From the famous Hitachi magic wand to the sex reviewer’s favourite, Doxy wands are a powerful addition to your collection. They can be a fairly hefty investment, but they can almost guarantee to make you climax with their deep, rumbly vibrations and hugely strong settings. The downside is that to get this level of power, they are usually fairly large and often mains powered, but when you’re ready for a wand session, you know it’s going to be good. Wand vibrators work by stimulating the clitoris externally via an oversized head, the materials of which are usually silicone to ensure a comfortable ride. Wands have been around for many years, usually in the guise of a ‘sports massager’. Once everyone admitted their alternative uses for these massagers, companies caught on and the secrecy was cast aside. With technology progressing, motors are getting smaller; rechargeable wands are now offering just as strong vibes in smaller packages, perhaps still not quite what you’d call discreet, but certainly easier to use for some people.
- Tiny wands! Clitoral oscillators are small clitoral wands with pinpointed stimulation via an oscillating head. The stimulation is less straightforward than the vibrations of the larger wands—to pack the same power, these smaller wands use a different motion, not unlike an electric toothbrush. Zumio was one of the first of these tiny yet very magic indeed wands and is now joined by many other versions to choose from. These are some of the best toys for women especially, if you are having partnered sex, the wand tip is so small and discreet it can fit between you both if you require extra stimulation during oral, or penis in vagina sex. It can also feel great on the frenulum of the penis
Finger vibes
- These are small vibrators which fit on the end of your finger to offer added stimulation during masturbation. The difference of these to say a bullet or pebble vibe is that they are easier to hold because of being attached to your finger. This is great if you’ve got a lot of slippery lube, it might help you feel more secure at the perfect moment. During partnered play, a finger vibe is a great addition to oral sex and manual sex, adding a little bit of confidence to your technique.
Clit toys for couples
- During penis-in-vagina sex, it can be great to have added clitoral stimulation. As mentioned above, the smaller oscillating wands are good for this but there are other vibrators which are designed intentionally to offer partnered sex enhancement.
Vibrating cock rings
- Cock rings for partnered sex are usually made of stretchy silicone with an area which houses a tiny bullet vibe – this is the most basic of vibrating cock rings and can offer great clitoral stimulation while you have sex.
- The design of vibrating cock rings has evolved greatly in recent years with a huge crossover in pleasure purely aimed at the penis and that of dual stimulation of the clitoris too.
Anal sex toys
Trying anal sex toys can bring a whole new world of sensation and satisfaction.
Butt plugs
- We begin with the best known toy for anal and that’s of course the butt plug. Butt plugs come in so many shapes and sizes that you are sure to find something to suit. The most important feature of a toy for anal pleasure is that it has a flared base. Unlike the vagina which is a closed off canal where nothing can get lost inside, the anus is capable of swallowing and closing behind an intruder. A toy must have a base or handle wider than the final insertable portion, so no accidental insertions can occur. Anal sex toys usually require a lot of lube and patience, especially if you’re new to the joys of backdoor fun.
- Taking design into consideration, companies are now targeting anal sex toys for women that might be more feminine in design. Of course, as mentioned before, there’s nothing gendered about a bumhole, but making an item feel less intimidating might entice a new audience.
- Butt plugs come in many different materials, the most common is our friend silicone. A slim tapered end slowly reaching maximum girth then a small comfortable shaft is a great beginner anal toy. Soft and malleable yet firm enough to get past the tight double ring of muscles there. Again, there are real artisans intent on producing and crafting the finest butt plugs, like Cherry’s in English Garden which were made especially for Frolicme.
- Stainless steel makes for a great butt plug and means you can also incorporate temperature play. The Crown Jewels is a company that makes beautiful plugs with diamond bases. To cater for the more feminine inclined audience there are endless choices when it comes to decoration, heart-shaped and diamanté bases, you can even have a company logo or your own design branded there. Makes for a very outstanding retirement gift, certainly more memorable than a carriage clock! Butt plugs incorporating tails are the perfect addition for pony/pet or furry play and can enhance your dressing up fun. Butt plugs are also a great way to introduce yourself to anal sex as you can train your bottom gently by increasing the girth over time. Butt plugs can be worn outside the bedroom for some saucy secret sensations.
Again, anal toys cross over into other categories, for example, some butt plugs incorporate a stretchy double cockring that goes over the cock and balls.
Breast sex toys
Breast sex toys might be a category you weren’t expecting but as mentioned before, nipple toys are a great way to heighten arousal and gear up for sensual play. Air pulse which is intended for suctioning the clit can definitely double up to increase the chances of a nipplegasm. The nozzle can fit snuggly around the nipple and the fluttering and sucking motion of the air pulse can induce some new and very exciting feelings.
Nipple Clamps
- Many people enjoy the sensations of nipple clamps and even more extreme experiences like electrostimulation (E-stim). Nipple clamps can be as simple and home sourced as laundry pegs, but be warned these can be pretty strong, to very specialised and intricate clamps, like tiny vices. They can be beautifully adorned with chains and jewels, certainly meant for display. Tug tug!
- Bondage and BDSM feature a great array of nipple clamps and can be weighted or even spring-loaded to ramp up the intensity. Nipple sticks are two lengths of slim sticks tied at each end. These can be flexible or inflexible according to your taste. They are tightened by adjusting the bands at each end. Chains attached to elsewhere on the body, like cuffs or collars, can add dimension, especially in BDSM scenarios.
Breast Pumps
- Breast pumps are products which create a vacuum around the nipple, areola and beyond to engorge the breast with blood and therefore enhance sensation. They can also temporarily increase the size of the breasts.
- Other forms of sex toys for breast play can be purely decorative for enhancing your own confidence or titillating your partner—for example, pasties and tassels can offer a lot of fun in the bedroom, opening up your exhibitionist side.
Sex toys for him
Male sexual toys have often focussed on anal and prostate play in the past, but now there is a plethora of pleasures for the penis and beyond. Women were once the focus of the sex toy industry, but now with a more inclusive outlook and the need to look at enhancing everyone’s sex life, penis owners and men have demanded attention. From masturbators that replicate the feeling of penetrating a vagina or anus, to obscure looking tech resembling something from a spaceship, male masturbators are really taking off. Men are breaking down the taboos by buying and using these products which in turn can lead to a better relationship with themselves and therefore others. Getting to know your body through masturbation is a great and important way to be aware of any changes if they occur.
Focussing on penis pleasure is fine, but there’s a whole way to enjoy your sensuality, nipple play, prostate, and everything in between, we shouldn’t be forgetting about men’s full sensual experience.
Penile sex toys
There are many types of penile sex toys ranging from discreet silicone sleeves to fully fuckable body parts and they offer a fabulous alternative to your hand!
Penile sex toys for him | Description |
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Male Masturbators | Toys that mimic the feeling of masturbation, fully or partially wrapping around the penis. |
Pussy/Anus Masturbators | Tubes made of soft material that imitate real body parts, like vaginas or anuses (e.g., Fleshlight). Some use molds of popular models. |
Silicone Eggs | Soft, stretchy covers for the tip of the penis. Add lube for new sensations during solo or partnered play. |
Strokers | Toys that stroke the penis, sometimes with vibrations. They can be simple or controlled through apps. |
Guybrators | Vibrators for the penis, offering suction or vibrating massages similar to toys made for clitoral stimulation. |
Cock Rings | Rings worn around the base of the penis to keep it harder for longer. They come in silicone, rubber, and metal. |
Penis Pumps | Create a vacuum around the penis to temporarily increase its size. Often used with cock rings to make the effect last longer. |
Male masturbators and strokers
- There are many variants of penis masturbator products, often called strokers. They are essentially something that wraps around the penis shaft, either fully encasing it or partly, then stroking up and down mimicking the motion of manual masturbation but with extra sensations.
Masturbators
- Pussy/anus masturbators—the most common and recognisable of these will be the Fleshlight, which is a silicone tube mimicking the look and feel of a human orifice, whether that’s a vagina, anus or mouth. A tough exterior tube helps the silicone keep its shape and adds to the ‘squeeze’ when the penis is inserted. Lots of companies are innovating this once humble tube, and even take moulds of popular porn models’ genitals to promote certain brands.
- Other companies like Tenga focus on the mechanical aspect of the design, with sleeves that twist and coil around the penis in different ways as it is moved up and down the shaft. The inner tubes are lined with various silicone shapes and nodules to enhance the experience.
Silicone eggs
- These are the grown-up version of Kinder Eggs, containing a very soft and stretchy sleeve which you fill with lube and slide down over the cock head. It adds a new dimension to manual partnered play and masturbation. These eggs are a wonderful and inexpensive way to test out the sleeve products and can be seen in the film Late Night Wank.
Strokers
- Strokers can be vibrating with simple bullet attachments or all singing and dancing app-controlled sex tech.
Guybrators
- Guybrators or penis vibrators have taken tech initially designed for the clitoris and enlarged it to fit over the head of the penis. You can choose the same suction technique as the air pulse technology to mimic a blowjob or be treated to a ‘head’ or frenulum massage with a vibrating helmet device. Again, these range from a simple silicone penis head cover with space for a bullet right through to AI app-controlled warming blow job machines.
Cock rings
- Cock rings are, on the whole, intended to stop blood flowing back out of the penis when aroused to keep it harder for longer. They are to extend your pleasure and sexual intimacy time. Stretchy silicone in various sizes is a great way to start—but there are many different types ranging from harder rubber right through to surgical steel. Some cockrings are intended to go over the cock and balls, and some have anal attachments to offer a full sensual experience. Read our comprehensive cock ring guide by Topher Taylor.
Penis pumps
- Penis pumps temporarily increase the size of the penis by creating a vacuum around it and engorging it with blood. They can be used in conjunction with a cock ring to make the effects last longer.
Testicle sex toys
Sex toys for the testicles? Why yes! The testicles can be highly sensitive, so they need care and consideration during play, but give ball play a chance, and you’ll be glad you did! We’ve mentioned cockrings which go over both the base of the cock and the balls, but you can have them over the balls too. Be very gentle and only use as per the product advice. There’s even a product called a balldo which enables your balls to be used for penetration.
Anal/prostate sex toys
If you have a penis, did you know you also have the equivalent of a G-spot? The prostate, also known as the P-spot, is located inside the anterior wall of the anus. It can offer very pleasurable sensations when stimulated and can even cause an orgasm without having an erection. Toys for P-spot stimulation are usually hooked or curved butt plugs to pinpoint the spot. Aneros is a popular brand of prostate toys offering fantastic internal stimulation with a clever external design to keep everything in place. They have excellent choices for the beginner as they start very slim but this does not detract from the pinpointing of the prostate.
Did you know you can also stimulate this thrilling little spot externally? Read our Beginner’s Guide to Prostate Play by Lolajean to find out more of the delights of the perineum. There are many cross-over toys which offer perineal massage, cock rings that have butt plugs attached often have a vibrating pad that presses into the perineum—the space between the back of the balls and the anus.
Sex toys for couples
Sex toys for couples and sharing sex toys with your partner are becoming so much more acceptable. Indeed there has been a boom in bedroom toys for adults in recent years, which is great news for your sexual exploration and discovery.
As we’ve mentioned throughout this guide, sex toys have been placed in certain categories for ease, but there are so many that cross over for stimulating all body parts. We’ve talked about the Zumio, which adds pinpoint stimulation to the clitoris and is small enough to be used during partnered play. There are plenty of ways to experiment. Some of the Vibrating Love Eggs we’ve looked at can enhance partnered sexual activity—whether that’s penis/strap-on-in-vagina sex or good old fingering, these toys are strong enough to get things going but also discreet enough that both of you are still involved.
If you’re in a long-distance relationship app-based toys can be a game changer for your intimacy. Feeling like you are having sex or being able to control the pleasure you are giving and receiving from afar can really help to keep those intimate moments going.
Remote control sex toys can be great fun and spice things up in the bedroom and beyond. Wearable remote-controlled panty vibes can be your little secret as you are out on a date, having cheeky moments only the two of you know about. These can be extremely powerful yet discreet and a lot of fun.
Pretty much all the toys we’ve discussed can be used during partnered sex, even ones designed for solo exploration. What a turn-on to watch your partner masturbate! Not only is it extremely arousing, but you’ll also learn a lot about their turn-ons and techniques.
Some toys can be used for all bodies, for example, the Ruby Glow Blush is a ride-on grinder with a detachable wand. The wand is shaped to be suitable for vaginal and anal play (careful of hygiene), has pinpoint clitoral stimulation and is also curved to enable stimulation of the penile shaft, all complete with a remote control.
The ‘other’ sex toys are very much part of the couple’s bag. Blindfolds, ropes, nipple tassels, riding crops, cuffs, etc. all form part of the sexy, seductive dance of foreplay you and your partner might try out. Role-playing is a fantastic way to boost your lust for each other, and all these other forms of sex toy fun will go a long way to ensuring a great, sexy experience.
Remote control toys
The dawn of remote-control toys has meant that sex toys are becoming even more accessible to many people. Being able to use sex toys comfortably can often mean a lot of them aren’t suitable, especially for disabled pleasure seekers. As remote controls are becoming standard with sex toys, this is great news for everybody.
And it also means you can get someone else to do your controlling if you like.
App-based toys take the remote-control aspect to new places—meaning people in long-distance relationships do not have to miss out on intimacy and new sexual experiences together. If you are in a same-sex relationship, it might be exciting to both have the same or a similar device, like a Lovesense app-controlled stroker, rabbit or wearable and tease each other mercilessly, perhaps experiencing the same settings at the same time. See also Teledildonics.
Teledildonics
Pushing the boundaries of sex tech, teledildonics, and cyberdildonics are where the remote action of one can stimulate another. Much like an app-controlled sex toy, this tech enables people to get up close and personal despite being in different locations. It also has other exciting applications: if you’ve ever experienced the vibrations of a game console controller while playing a computer game, you can imagine the possibilities if you add in a different kind of controller! Teledildonics can take sex and even VR porn into new realms. Imagine what you are watching on screen being translated into sensations in the body. This tech is developing fast and promises to be a thrilling addition to the sex toy world. [brand Kiiroo]
Strap-ons/double dildos
Strap-ons are dildos which fit into a harness so that the wearer can penetrate their lover or just enjoy the sensation of wearing it. Strap-ons are not limited to those with a vulva, having two penises at once can mean double the fun for everyone involved and special harnesses can enable a dildo and a penis to be accommodated.
Pegging is where you anally penetrate your partner with a strap-on. It can be immensely pleasurable for both people, especially if the base of the strap-on shaft has a grinder attachment for clitoral stimulation as you have sex.
Strap-ons can also come without a harness where one end is shaped so that it is inserted into the vagina and held there by the muscles. This is not quite the same as a double ended dildo where neither party is the one controlling the penetration, both have equal access to the dong.
Double dildos are exactly that: two for one, for double penetration, one or two holes! DP in the vagina, anus or one in each. See what we mean by a ‘crossover’?
Bondage & BDSM sex toys
As we discussed in the couples’ toys section, ‘other’ sex toys can enhance and elevate sex play – and BDSM play is an extension of that. BDSM stands for Bondage Domination, Submission, and Masochism. BDSM sex toys might include cuffs, ropes, whips, and chastity devices, all designed to offer ways to explore different dynamics within your sexual relationship.
Restraints
- The element of restraint is used as a power dynamic, and submissives can be secured by cuffs, ropes, bondage tape and anything else that can secure them in the name of fantasy. Shibari is the Japanese art of rope tying and can become extremely elaborate knotwork where the act of tying is part of the sexual thrill. The solo bondage thrill seeker is not left out of the fun, there are very clever ‘ice cuffs’ or restraints which allow the padlock or restraint to release over time when the ice melts. This also feeds into temperature play.
Chastity devices
- With denial and edging at its heart, chastity devices add to the power dynamic element—thinking of the chastity belts of yesteryear, there are also chastity cages for the penis—be careful who owns those keys!
Physical chastisement
- Here’s where we’d place anything used to cause pain as pleasure, such as crops, straps, paddles, pinwheels and all other implements designed to deliver punishment. See our BDSM guide for more. [LINK]
Sensory deprivation
- Think blindfolds and anything which causes you to have to use your other senses – can really heighten the sexual experience.
Other couple toys
Of course, as we’ve discussed, most sex toys can be used during solo and partnered play, so chatting about unusual sex toys you might have seen, perhaps in a film or on social media, can be part of the excitement. Looking together at what you might like to try next can build arousal in itself, imagining your lover using the product you’ve just added to your basket can build anticipation.
More advanced or expensive sex toys
Almost all the toys we have in our sex toy guide will be made in differing quality, price points and materials. Just like everything in life, really.
There are a couple of products worth noting, but it comes with the warning that this equipment doesn’t come cheap, so if you have a local retailer that can demonstrate a display model or at least talk you through them before you buy, it might be a great idea.
Sex Machines
A sex machine is a piece of equipment that has a powerful mechanism to enable a penetrating motion. You can attach all sorts of toys to it, from dildos to strokers—rough sex, anal, and double penetration, they can be great fun for couples and solo fun. You have to position yourself in the right spot and manoeuvre yourself into the implement path. Positioning is key! These machines are large and can be cumbersome, so discretion is not in the remit.
E-stim
E-stim is short for electrical stimulation, which might sound alarming, but rest assured, the currents used start very low. You begin with a mains controller with electrodes that attach to metal products, for example, a nipple clamp. By placing the probes on your skin, you complete the circuit, causing electrical pulses to cascade through your body. It can feel like small ripples right through to extreme tensing and pulsing.
These toys cross over into all other sex toys, as virtually all formats of sex toys make it into attachments for e-stim. From butt plugs, dildos and cock rings to nipple clamps, there is a lot of electrical fun to be had. Crossing over into teledildonics, some of the current strength can be controlled by your voice. An incredible combo if you hook your dildo up to some ASMR! Read more on our e-stim article by Joanne.
Sounding rods
Sounding is the process of carefully inserting rods into the urethra for sexual gratification. An extremely sensitive part of the body, stimulating it can cause deeply powerful pleasurable sensations for the enthusiast. However, it is an acquired taste, which is why we have it in our advanced section. Extreme caution must be used and absolute hygiene to ensure nothing nasty gets into the bladder.
How to use sex toys
So you’ve got your new suite of sex toys, what’s the best practice when it comes to sex toys? Because your toys are going to be used on the most intimate parts of your body, you should always choose skin-safe and body-safe material, medical grade if that’s an option.
Lubrication
Lubrication is a factor when it comes to using and looking after your sex toys. The biggest thing to be aware of is chemical compatibility.
For example, in some cases, silicone lube could potentially act as a solvent on silicone sex toys, causing tiny micro-abrasions that, while invisible to the eye, can harbour bacteria. You can if you are very careful, but most experts recommend a water-based lube on your silicone toys unless you use them with a condom.
- Oil lubes—great for anal play, but be very aware of what kind of toy you’re using them with—and be very careful not to use them with condoms, as it may degrade the rubber or latex. Fine with glass, surgical steel, ceramic etc.
- Water-based lubes are probably your safest and best bet when it comes to sex toys.
As the anus is not self-lubricating like the vagina it is advisable to use copious amounts of good anal lube to smooth entry and make the experience pleasurable and comfortable.
All sex toys can feel great with added lube, making them glide more easily and offer less friction unless that’s what you like.
Keep it clean
Hygiene is of the utmost importance, and you should be aware of how to clean your sex toys properly. Most products will have a cleaning guide specific to that toy, but cleaning sex toys is usually a case of common sense. Always clean before and after use, with the best will in the world and great storage solutions, dust and other contaminants will always find a way!
Be very careful to take note if your toy is fully submergible, like a silicone dildo, which can be boiled occasionally or put in the dishware for occasional sterilising, or just splashproof, where you might have to be very careful and wash as directed. You can buy specific sex toy cleaning wipes and solutions, but most sex experts state that a good thorough wash with gentle soap before and after use is good enough.
Silicone sleeves, masturbators are very stretchy and can be pulled inside out for a thorough cleaning job. This is also true of a brand like Fleshlight which might be encased in an outer shell, however, they will always be designed so that you can remove them to allow for proper cleaning.
Safe storage
Sex toys should be thoroughly dry before storing in a clean, dry place in a storage bag if one was provided. Always make sure you store the correct charges either alongside the toy or at least very close by… there is nothing worse than your favourite vibe running out at the crucial moment and no sign of a charger to pick things back up again! It’s worth popping your toys on charge after use so you don’t risk disappointment the next time.
Do not store sex toys in direct contact with each other if possible, as the differing material contact may cause discolouration or even degradation of the product.
Have fun!
Once you delve into the world of sex toys and see how much fun and opportunity for more pleasure opens up, you’re bound to be hooked. Even the most humble of bullet vibes can add just enough spice to heighten arousal and intensify your orgasms. Great sex is yours to explore and we thoroughly recommend trying out new things in the bedroom, sex toys are a fantastic way to begin. Adding sex toys into partnered or group play can heighten intimacy between you and your lovers too, all in all, it’s a win win situation! Keep this guide bookmarked so you can refer back when you want to choose your next saucy adventure!