The List of Sexual Kinks and Fetishes

When we’re talking about the spectrum of human sexuality, it can often be hard—and sometimes impossible—to draw clear lines about which activities fall under our definitions. It’s certainly impossible to cover every single thing that someone in the world might find sexy. Human beings are a broad and varied bunch, and you can be pretty sure that almost any object or activity has been sexualised by someone at some point. The aim of this guide is to give you as complete a list of kinks as possible, while including plenty of springboard points which will hopefully inspire you to explore and discover things which might turn you or your partner on. From soft kinks like playful role play to hardcore kinks that may involve the use of specialist equipment as well as practice and safety protocols.

Kink vs fetishes

When you’re making a list of kinks, one of the most frequently asked questions is about the difference between a kink and a fetish. Below we’ve covered off what is considered kinky, but before let’s tackle the big one first: the difference between a kink and a fetish is rooted in individual need. Generally, if something is a ‘nice to have’ addition to your sex life, it’s a kink, whereas if it’s something you absolutely need in order to get off? That’s a fetish. So if you enjoy spanking your boyfriend at a club event once a month, but you don’t need to do it when you’re having casual sex after work on a Wednesday evening, then for you spanking would be considered kinky rather than a fetish. On the other hand, if you want to be spanked every time you have sex, and sex itself doesn’t ‘do it’ for you unless there’s spanking involved somewhere, it’s much closer to a ‘fetish’ than a kink.

Our list of sexual kinks and fetishes on this page includes a lot of what is considered kinky as well as many things that are predominantly seen as fetishes, but their inclusion on one list or another isn’t set in stone. If we’ve listed something as a kink but for you it’s a fetish, or vice versa? That’s fine! There is no hierarchy whereby one thing is ‘better’ or ‘more normal’ than another. Hopefully you can take this bumper list of kinks and use it as a springboard to think in more detail about where your own desires lie, as well as a good basis for discussion with your partners.

What is considered kinky?

Before we launch into our epic list, it’s important to define some terms: we know the difference between a kink and a fetish, but what is considered kinky, exactly? It certainly covers a lot more than just spanking your boyfriend on a Saturday night.

A kink is something that enhances your sexual activity—a practice, object, tone or other addition that you (and/or your partner) enjoy in a sexual context. A kink usually lands outside the bounds of what society would consider to be ‘standard’ sexual interaction. The word ‘standard’ is in scare quotes here, because ‘standard’ is a very limiting word. Many people in society still see sex as something that’s primarily done for procreation, so anything that falls outside straight, cisgender, penis-in-vagina sex could easily be considered ‘non-standard’ and therefore ‘kinky’. For the purposes of this list of kinks though, we’re using ‘kink’ to mean anything which falls outside ‘conventional’ concepts of sex e.g. manual or oral stimulation, kissing, penetration, etc.

Kinks can include anything from a penchant for a certain fabric, such as latex, to a desire for power imbalance, like in BDSM, as well as more hardcore kinks that involve extreme pain or multiple participants. As with so many things in the world of sex, though, often it’s much easier to show than it is to tell. So read on for a list of kinks that will give you a good feel for what is considered kinky.

The importance of communication

One of the reasons for writing this guide (and hopefully, for you reading it) is to embrace the golden rule of all sex: communication is key. Society often gives us sexual ‘scripts’ about what we should do in bed, and the kinds of activities that are good/bad/desirable/sexy etc. But as you will see from the list of kinks below, there is such a huge spectrum of kinky desire that making assumptions—or performing to societal scripts—is rarely ever going to give people the sex they want. So talking about what you want is vital, and asking questions of your partner about their own needs and desires is vital too.

As a rule of thumb, the kinkier the sex you’d like to have, the more you should be thinking about communication. Especially if you’re engaging in hardcore kinks like extreme pain play, or role play that involves one person submitting to another. When you communicate your expectations and needs, use safewords if required, and spend time doing the groundwork by discussing in detail with your partner(s), you’ll be far better equipped to fulfil your hardcore kinks in a safe and consensual way.

Don’t forget, too, that part and parcel of good communication is accepting a ‘no’. If you find yourself wanting to explore some of the things from the list of kinks below, whether hardcore kinks like fisting or softer kinks like temperature and wax play, understanding your own and your partner’s boundaries (and respecting them) is absolutely vital.

List of kinks

Let’s dive in! The world is so full of sexual variety that no one could hope to write a list of kinks that covers every single possibility but we think we’ve got one of the most comprehensive ones out there. Leave your expectations at the door, and read on for a list of kinks that (we hope) will have a few sexy surprises for you…

Blindfolding

It’s good to begin with one of the simplest, safest, and easiest-to-fulfil kinks in the sexual spectrum. Blindfolding (sometimes referred to as ‘amaurophilia’) involves covering someone’s eyes during play. Part of the appeal is that when you cannot see, your other senses are heightened, so touch/taste/sound/scent can all be intensified by the fact that you cannot look directly at what’s happening.

Many people use blindfolds during BDSM play, or in combination with bondage or temperature play (further down the list of kinks on this page), to try and conjure a particular sexy mood. That might be a sensual mood, where the person who is blindfolded is enjoying gentle touches or licks across their body, or for more hardcore kinks it might be a sense of disorientation or fear as they wonder what their partner is going to do next. The tone of your blindfolding scene will depend on your and your partner’s preferences, but it’s easy to try out if you want to experiment. Although you can buy blindfolds from sex toy shops (in a range of different fabrics depending on what floats your boat), you can achieve the same effect with almost anything that will cover someone’s eyes—scarves, clothes, masks, etc. Just put it on, make sure that the blindfolded person can’t peek, and get stuck in.

Wax play, sensation play and temperature play

We’re rolling these kinks into one heading, but as with everything on the list of kinks, you might feel like you want to just pick out one element and focus on that. Wax play is the practice of dripping melted wax onto someone’s body, for the purposes of pleasure. Always use special candles which melt at a far lower temperature than standard candles you might use when you set the table for a fancy dinner.

The pleasure comes partly from the drama and shock of it—dripping wax onto someone can be an expression of dominance and ownership—and partly from the aesthetic beauty of seeing someone’s naked skin splattered with colourful droplets. For the person being dripped on, the pleasure might be in the slight (but not too intense!) sting of pain when the droplets fall, the feeling of the skin being temporarily marked and stretched as the wax dries, and the feeling of being owned and controlled by whoever is holding the candle.

For some people, wax play is an extension of temperature play, where someone (often someone who is blindfolded) is teased and stimulated with a variety of different objects or substances at different temperatures. Like ice cubes being incorporated into nipple play, or glass dildos warmed up in a cup of hot (but not boiling) water before being run over the skin. Sensation play is another extension of this, where texture is brought into play as well—feathers or velvet or other tactile things are drawn over the skin to produce shivers of delight (or disgust, or fear, depending on the tone that you and your partner(s) have set for your scene).

Choking

This one comes with a big warning: although choking (sometimes called ‘erotic asphyxiation’) is an extremely popular kink, it is also a very dangerous one. While there are many tips on how to choke someone in ways that do not immediately endanger their life, there is no way to safely choke anyone. The neck contains arteries which feed the brain (and cutting off blood flow to the brain can cause strokes), as well as the windpipe (which can be bruised/crushed if too much pressure is applied).

So why do people find choking sexy? Partly exactly because of this taboo—people who like to play in kinky ways often enjoy the thrill of submissive choking because it represents a hardcore kink that is frowned upon by others. Those who like being choked also often report getting off on the slight ‘high’ that comes when blood flow or breath is restricted. The same things that make it seem sexy to some people also make it dangerous, though, which is why we aren’t going to give you tips on choking in this guide. Instead, here are a few sexy alternatives to submissive choking which may give you similar feelings and sensations, but with a lower level of risk.

  • ‘Hold your breath.’ Without putting your hands around someone’s throat, instructing them to hold their breath until you say they may breathe can give them the same kind of ‘high’ they may get from physical submissive choking, but without the risk of cutting off their air flow or causing damage to the windpipe.
  • Mouth instead of neck. If what you get off on is the feeling of someone putting their hands around your throat, try swapping this out for hands over your mouth instead. It can give you similar feelings of being restricted, but again without the danger of choking directly.
  • Belt/t-shirt gag. If you’re used to choking or being choked during sex, swap out hands around the throat for a belt or rolled-up t-shirt held across the mouth like a gag—picture the way a horse wears a bit gag, with the ‘choker’ holding on to the ends of the belt or shirt. Holding a gag in this way can be done tightly, and in many of the same positions that someone might enjoy being choked, but again without the risk of directly harming the arteries and windpipe in the neck.

If you have a kink for choking, know that you are far from alone: this kink is extremely popular and when done consensually with partners who are into it, absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. However unfortunately sometimes the things we want to do come with very high risks, and sexual choking is one of those kinks. We won’t tell you what to do with your sex life, but if you get off on submissive choking we hope these ideas can give you some lower-risk alternatives if you’d like them. 

Facesitting/facefucking

This kink is especially popular with people who would describe themselves as ‘submissive’ in a BDSM context. It’s essentially oral sex, but with a twist on the tone that means one’s face or mouth is being used for sexual pleasure (as opposed to them being an active ‘giver’ of head). Facesitting is sometimes enhanced by the use of specialist furniture: a ‘queening chair’ is a chair with a hole cut in it, so one person can lie beneath with their face ready to be sat upon by someone else. Facefucking is also sometimes referred to as ‘throatfucking’, and it involves deep penetration by someone of the mouth or throat.

The appeal with this kink isn’t just in the sensations for the person who is facesitting or facefucking, but also in the overall power imbalance in the scene—one person ‘using’ another for their pleasure. As with so many things on the BDSM kink list, this is an extremely common desire and one that many people enjoy partaking in, even if they wouldn’t immediately define themselves as ‘kinky’.

Nipple play

Sexual nipple play is all about touching, teasing and sometimes torturing the nipples. Nipple sensitivity is not limited to people of one particular gender, rather the sensitivity of your nipples (and how much you like them to be touched) varies on an individual basis. Some men really love sexual nipple play, whereas others are either ambivalent to or actively turned off by any kind of nipple stimulation. The same is true of women and gender-non-conforming people. Some may find that their nipples are too sensitive to be stimulated at certain times of the month, as menstruation can have a huge impact on breast sensitivity in general.

For those who have this kink, stimulation can include anything from very gentle touches and licks to more intense pinches, slaps flicks and even—at the ‘hardcore kinks’ end of the scale—intense pain involving clamps, slaps, bites and other sadistic elements. Wherever you sit on the spectrum, make sure to discuss in detail with your partner if you’re about to engage in nipple play. One person’s turn-on may be another’s turn-off, so it’s important to check in and make sure that you’re not about to launch into one kind of touch when they were hoping for a completely different kind of sexual nipple play.

Restraints

Restraints—also often called ‘bondage’—is another extremely popular kink. Being tied up can be sexy as it involves relinquishing control and putting your partner in the driving seat. Like pain play, blindfolds, and other kinky play it’s often enjoyed in a BDSM context, though you don’t need to be a BDSM practitioner to enjoy it. Sometimes it’s just fun to take the reins and tie up your partner so you can pleasure them, or allow them to tie you up.

Although rope is the obvious way to indulge this kink, you can buy special kinds of restraints to use during this play if you don’t want to learn knots: metal, leather or plastic handcuffs which can be clipped/locked/secured with Velcro to bedframes and other areas are a great option for those with limited dexterity (or patience) and bondage tape (a special kind of tape that sticks to itself but not to human skin) is a nice safe alternative to gaffer tape (which we do not recommend). Other options include scarves or other fabric items you might have lying around, but for safety’s sake whenever you’re getting the restraints out, always make sure you keep scissors (or keys in the case of lockable cuffs) within easy reach of where you’re playing, in case you need to release someone in an emergency.

Fisting

Fisting is the practice of inserting your entire fist into someone. Those who enjoy it often emphasise both the physical and mental appeal: the sensation of being stretched out and filled (whether vaginally or anally), combined with the feeling of being either challenged to ‘take’ as much as possible or the feeling of being used by the person who is inserting their fist.

It is not a kink that can be easily achieved on first attempt, but if you are interested in fisting then you may want to invest in a lot of lube as well as a lot of practice: beginning with a few fingers, and then more, until the hand that is inserted has space to curl round into a fist. Some people find that using small toys, and gradually increasing the size, can help them to eventually accommodate a fist. Others find that relaxation and regular pauses during play can allow them to open up. And as with all kinks, sometimes people enjoy the idea in theory but aren’t able to do it in practice, in which case you might just enjoy discussing it with your partner or watching porn that features fisting, without taking the plunge yourself.

Acarophilia (scratching)

Scratching is a form of sensation play (see temperature/wax/sensation play above), where one person scratches another for the purpose of pleasure. It might be very light scratches along the body, which barely leave a trace, or for hardcore kinks it may involve digging the nails in hard enough to leave a welt or in some instances draw blood. Where you’re embarking on play that could draw blood, it’s worth being aware of the risks—especially with regard to blood borne infections—and keeping plasters on standby. But the reasons why people find this kink hot are very similar to some of the others on this list of kinks: the sensations are pleasurable in the body, and they can be enhanced by the tone of the scene (one of dominance, for instance, or even perhaps certain types of role play).

Spanking

Another very popular kink—whether you want to be spanked or enjoy spanking your boyfriend, you’re not alone in hankering after spanking. Spanking itself refers to the practice of hitting someone with the open palm, but the broader kink—‘impact play’—involves hitting someone with a variety of different implements. Canes, whips, paddles, tawses, riding crops… even wooden spoons. If you can think of an implement which might be fun to swat someone on the bottom, chances are someone’s used it for spanking at one point or another.

And while we’re on the topic of variety, spanking isn’t just limited to the bum area either. Almost any area of exposed (ideally fleshy/wobbly) skin can be hit or impacted with implements to various degrees. Some people enjoy being flogged on the back and shoulders, spanked on the thighs or breasts, or even hit on and around the genital area. For consent purposes, it’s always important to discuss areas with your partner before you embark on spanking play, and perhaps testing out different implements and force. For example, you can gauge how hard you are hitting someone with your hand than you can with a cane, so testing and discussing is extremely important. If you’re spanking your boyfriend, girlfriend or partner, start with gentle strokes and build up from there based on feedback, to help you get a feel for the implement. For safety purposes, it’s worth highlighting that you should not engage in intense pain play on any areas of the body where your internal organs gather: so you don’t want to be spanked (at least not hard) on the stomach or chest area, and the lower back (where your kidneys are) should be avoided too.

Orgasm control

There are many different ways to indulge in an orgasm control kink. The central idea is that it is sexy to have your orgasms either forced or refused by a partner, but within that (as you can probably imagine) there is plenty of variation. An orgasm control kink might involve something as simple as being told to come at a particular moment in time—a dominant partner counting down from 10 to 1 and only allowing you to come when they reach ‘1’. It may also mean having to ask for permission to orgasm, and being granted or refused your request depending on the type of play. Some more hardcore kinks for orgasm control may include chastity play, where one person can be physically locked up (in a chastity cage, or less commonly a chastity belt) to prevent them from touching themselves and orgasming even when they are alone.

It’s not all about denial, though. Forced orgasm is a subset of orgasm control kink where someone is brought to orgasm repeatedly, or in a way that is used as punishment. This is a kind of BDSM play that can sometimes touch on roleplaying non-consent, for instance if the submissive asks not to be made to orgasm but the dominant continues, bringing them to climax against their stated will. As with all BDSM play, though, it should only ever be done in a consensual context—experimenting with taboo in this way can be done more safely if you use a safeword (more information on these can be found in our guide to BDSM), and should only be done if you know your partner is consenting, and understands how to withdraw their consent if they want to.

Public sex

The thrill of public sex gives a whole new meaning to the term ‘great outdoors’! This kink appeals to people primarily because of the thrill of getting caught—fear and sex often produce similar physiological responses, and so the adrenaline and nerves sparked by public sex mean the fear and arousal can feed into each other, and enhance the excitement overall. Naturally there are also some people who have fantasies about having public sex in specific locations—graveyards, churches, beaches, offices, libraries, car parks, and a few semiprivate spaces too such as public toilets, or up against the window of a hotel room overlooking a busy street.

Exhibitionism (a kink for being seen/watched while having sex) is often a key driver for public sex fantasies too, and its corollary (voyeurism—a kink for watching others have sex) might mean that there are some people actively looking out for public places where people have a tendency to get it on. However, fulfilling this kink in ways that are consensual (and won’t risk arrest!) can be tricky. Some people like to arrange meet-ups with fellow kinksters—doggers, for instance, often head to empty car parks or quiet parking spots in the countryside so that exhibitionists and voyeurs can indulge in places where the police aren’t likely to stop by. But in most countries it is illegal to have public sex, and all public places carry the risk that someone else might walk past, so you need to be very careful about where and how you indulge this kink.

The most risk-free way to indulge this kink is by using it as the basis for some fantasy play. Talk to your partner about your public sex plans, maybe even visit certain places and make out or touch, while telling each other what you’d like to do. If you’re more interested in exhibitionism, voyeurism and public sex in reality though, it’s worth getting in touch with fellow kinksters in your area to see if there are clubs, parties and other play events that might fit the bill.

Watersports

Watersports, also often known as urolagnia or ‘piss play’, covers any sex play that involves urine and urination. This is often considered sexy because of the sheer taboo of playing with a substance that is usually expelled behind closed doors, but many people who are into it also enjoy an element of power imbalance. Being urinated on can be sexy because it’s humiliating or degrading, or even simply because it’s a deeply intimate thing that most people don’t do as a matter of course.

If this is your kink, read up a little on the safety aspects of watersports/piss play before diving in. It’s a myth that urine is sterile, because as it exits the body it can potentially pick up some bacteria, so if it’s going anywhere near your eyes or mouth you need to be more careful than if you’re just doing it for show—for instance, if you’re indulging in a kink where a dominant partner instructs a submissive to pee their pants.

Anal play

It’s debatable whether anal play counts as a kink, because for many people anal play will be a core part of their sex lives. If you can’t come via penile stimulation and you need prostate stimulation to orgasm, for instance, anal play will be included in a lot of your sexual activity as standard.

However, it’s here in the list of kinks because for some people, anal play is a hot addition to the rest of their sexual repertoire, and for others anal is performed in a way that sets it firmly in the ‘hardcore kinks’ category. Appealing because it’s a bit taboo, not to mention physically stimulating as well. While not as sensitive as the vagina, the anus is full of nerve endings which can give amazing sexy sensations, and if you have a prostate that’s an added bonus—many penis-owners report being able to orgasm purely from prostate stimulation alone.

Anal play is a very broad kink, and if you are totally new to this activity, it’s best to start small: one finger or a very small toy, like a small butt plug or slim dildo, covered in lots of lube. Our guide on how to have anal sex will help get you started safely. From here you can move on to other things depending on what you enjoy. Pegging—being anally penetrated with a strap-on, larger butt plugs, and even fisting (see above) are all possible for most people with a bit of practice and warm-up. At the hardcore kinks end of the spectrum, some people get off on the challenge of seeing how far or wide they can stretch themselves anally, using large butt plugs or dildos and challenging themselves, or their partner, to take an even greater girth. The act of learning to take larger toys—no matter how small you start off with—is called ‘anal training’.

Discipline

Punishment can be extremely pleasurable—many people are aroused by adult discipline. Either giving out punishments or receiving them, or for people who identify as ‘switch’ they might be turned on by both. You can read up on punishment play in more detail in our comprehensive guide to BDSM, where there are also examples of how to apply adult discipline in certain role play scenarios.

Like spanking and restraints, this falls onto the list of kinks partly for the power dynamic aspect—adult discipline can be sexy if you enjoy either submitting or dominating. However, for some people it’s the pain aspect that appeals the most. Sadists enjoy dispensing pain, and masochists enjoy receiving it. Not all adult discipline needs to be painful, though: hardcore kinks may involve lashes with a cane or punishments that involve being humiliated or having your movements restricted, but the kink can also be indulged in a lighter way, by issuing punishments such as writing lines or being made to do domestic chores. What punishment you choose to either inflict or submit to depends on your own desires and limits, as well as those of your partner.

Electro sex

Electro sex—also known as ‘e-stim’, is a method of stimulation that involves running a low (safe) amount of electricity through the body to provide a certain type of sensation. At low intensity, e-stim gives a pleasant tingling sensation, not unlike a soft version of pins and needles. At higher intensity, it can give powerful ‘zaps’ that feel painful, and could be used as a punishment. The electricity can also cause muscles to contract involuntarily, so it is often popular as an addition to insertable sex toys such as dildos and butt plugs, for making masturbation and orgasm more intense.

E-stim, when used according to manufacturer advice, is safe to play with, and works in a similar way to TENS machines that can help with pain relief during certain medical procedures. It should not be used by those with pacemakers, pregnant people, or those with heart conditions, so as with some of the other risky activities on this list of kinks, do be sure to do your research and discuss thoroughly with your partner before experimenting with e-stim.

Group sex

One of the most popular fantasies based on public polling—as well as online search—is a threesome, and group sex is a kink that encompasses threesomes and moresomes. Orgies, gang bangs, swinging parties, partner-swaps: all of these fall under the umbrella of ‘group sex’.

What’s the difference between these types of group sex?

  • A ‘partner swap’ usually consists of pairs mixing up: for instance two husband-and-wife pairings switching partners.
  • A swinging party is usually couples attending an event together, then mixing and forming new pairs/groups over the course of the evening—check out our guide to the swinging lifestyle for more.
  • A gang bang and an orgy—or group sex party—are both group sex events too, but a gang bang would usually have one person as the core focus, while an orgy tends to have a more equal balance of people doing various things to each other. These are not the only forms of group sex—‘hot wife’ refers to a man sharing his wife with other men because he gets off on watching her get pleasured, for instance—there are as many different ways to enjoy group sex as there are combinations of people.

If it sounds intimidating to dive into group sex, don’t worry. Many people find it sexually arousing to be naked with multiple others at once, whether they’re actively participating in the sex or simply watching, so you don’t necessarily have to leap in at the deep end. As with exhibitionism and voyeurism (see above), if this is a kink that you share you may be able to find groups and clubs of likeminded people in your area who can point you in the right direction to explore this kink in a way that is safe and consensual. Alternatively, there are many sites online which allow you (as a single person or as a couple) to post a profile advertising that you’re keen to join in with group sex: dating sites aren’t just for one-to-one hookups any more.

BDSM

BDSM stands for ‘bondage, domination, sadism and masochism’, and it is a very broad kink—the BDSM kink list encompasses everything from sexy role play, punishment play, spanking and other impact play, restraints, and much more. At its core, BDSM is about consensual power exchange, where one person hands power to another and they use it to control them. Punishing and rewarding them with pain and pleasure as they see fit. Those who are submissive are aroused by handing over power, dominants are aroused by being given that power, and people who are turned on by both aspects are called ‘switch’.

The BDSM kink list overlaps with this one in many areas, because so much kink also touches on these kinds of power dynamics. For far more detail, check out our BDSM, Bondage and Domination for Beginners guide.

Roleplaying

Another very broad one, and a kink where we have to seriously open our minds when it comes to what is considered kinky. Role play often just involves acting out common fantasy scenarios such as police officer/arrestee, firefighter/person being rescued or king/servant—costumes, voices and props as required. This is generally what people tend to picture when they think of roleplay, but there are as many different types of sexual roleplay as there are books, movies or plays. It can be hot to put on the costume of a brand-new character and explore your sexual side from the perspective of that person—and very hot to see your partner take on a new role too.

There are some types of roleplay around which specific subcultures have sprung up: pet play, for instance—often called ‘pup play’ where one person is roleplaying a dog—has a huge following, and many people purchase animal masks, tail butt plugs, water/food bowls and even cages so they can get deeply into the character of the pet they are playing. Medical play is another huge roleplaying subculture, where people don doctor/nurse costumes and perform acts on patients such as medical inspection or fake treatments.

If you’re looking to get started with some roleplay, though, you don’t necessarily need to spend lots of money on kit or costumes (unless that’s part of the appeal for you). What is considered kinky isn’t just about how something looks, it’s about how it makes you feel. You just need to have a scenario that you’d like to try out with your partner, and have a conversation beforehand to make sure you’re both consenting and on the same page. The only limit in roleplay is your imagination.

Splosh

Perhaps one of the most delicious entries on our list of kinks is sploshing—also known as ‘Wet and Messy’ or ‘WAM’—and is all about the mess you make! You may have seen people doing mud wrestling, or getting horny for two bikini-clad women wrestling in jelly well… splosh is an extension of that. People who are into splosh enjoy either being covered in gungy, sticky substances or watching someone else get covered in them. Often custard, whipped cream, jelly, and other delicious treats, but also sometimes inedible substances too. You may also have come across ‘cake-sitting’ as a kink—where one person films themselves squatting and then sitting onto a big creamy cake.

The appeal isn’t just visual, it’s also sensual—many people enjoy the feeling of squishy custard trickling down them, or like the sensation of wetness or the slippery way that bodies slide against each other. A similar kink can be found in Japanese Nuru massage, where one person lies naked and another person covers themselves in lubricant and uses their own naked body to give the other person a full-body rub.

Anonymous sex

Ever wanted to meet someone purely for sex, but without knowing their name or anything else about them? You may have a kink for anonymous sex. Anonymous sex with a stranger is another kink that is far easier to fulfil in the 21st century than it has been in the past, thanks to the internet.

The thrill of anonymous sex comes predominantly from knowing nothing about the other person save what you reveal online—which may be no more than gender, age, a specific fantasy you’d like fulfilled, and sometimes not even all of that. Some people even wear masks for anonymous sex in order that they don’t see each other’s faces. Naturally with anonymous sex, safety is an important concern, so if you are planning on dabbling in anonymous sex it can be a good idea to have a ‘buddy’ who knows where you are, and checks in with you at certain intervals. There’s no way to guarantee your personal safety, but there are ways to help make you a little safer if you’re planning to do this.

Furries

Certainly the cuddliest item on our list of kinks, it’s debatable what definition ‘furries’ fall under: hardcore kinks, fetishes, lifestyle, all of the above? It will depend on the person who’s doing it. Being a ‘furry’ involves dressing up in a fur suit—often adopting a persona (called a ‘fursona’) of a particular animal, and then having sex with other furries also dressed in suits.

This is appealing to many for a variety of reasons—being able to escape your human persona and be playful in a new role is certainly a huge draw, as is the tactile and visual appeal of having sex with a giant furry wolf or other creature. Although some might see this as one of the more hardcore kinks, furries can be extremely welcoming and (contrary to what you might think) unlikely to bite. If you’re looking to explore this kink, there are huge communities of furries online who may be able to help introduce you to the aspects of the kink that you’re interested in trying out.

Balloons

Having a kink for balloons (sometimes called ‘looning’) may be rarer than some of the other items on our list of kinks, but as with any kink the chances are if you have a penchant for it, you’re not alone. This kink involves playing with balloons in various ways—often the appeal comes from the tension of balloons being inflated and the uncertainty about when they might burst. Sometimes the sexiness comes from the sound of balloons squeaking, or popping, or the texture of balloon latex being rubbed against the skin.

Double penetration

There are variations on double penetration depending on how you do it:

While double penetration might conjure up images of athletic adult performers, where they can achieve two-penis penetration in a vagina or anus with ease, double penetration is a kink that can also be fulfilled with sex toys. Perhaps one penis plus one dildo to achieve the stretched-and-full sensation that appeals to many people who have this kink. The sexiness of it comes sometimes from the sensations themselves, sometimes (as with anal training above) from the challenge of ‘taking’ more inside the vagina or anus: for the same reason, some people have a kink for large toys/penises specifically. The feelings (and visual appeal) of being stretched out as wide as possible is part and parcel of the kink. And with double penetration (DP) sometimes the sexiness comes simply from the visual appeal of seeing someone being penetrated by two things at once.

  • DVP—double vaginal penetration—refers to two things in someone’s vagina.
  • DVA—double anal penetration—refers to double penetration in the anus.
  • Standard double penetration—usually refers to someone taking one penis or toy in the vagina and one in the anus.

The importance of aftercare

How to do aftercare will depend on you and your partner, but for any kind of kinky activity you should certainly consider the type of aftercare you and your partner may need before you begin the scene. ‘Aftercare’ refers to the things you do once a scene is over to help you come back to the real world. It’s not just for physical care, although rubbing lotion on sore bottoms after a spanking can be fabulous, it is important to consider emotional aftercare too. Often the adrenaline and pleasure of a scene can lead to an emotional crash a little while later, so when you’re thinking about how to do aftercare make sure that you include lots of conversation and checking in with your partner.

Especially if you’ve been engaging in hardcore kinks, punishment play, and anything which involves playing a character that is different to your normal self (and vice versa, if your partner is playing a character too), taking time to transition from ‘sex’ to ‘real life’ is very important. How to do aftercare well? Make sure that your partner is physically and emotionally OK, discuss the things you enjoyed about the scene, perhaps share a cup of tea or a snack to get your blood sugar levels back up if you’ve been especially energetic. Aftercare will look different for everyone, but the aim is always the same: ensure that everyone involved in the kink is feeling happy and safe once playtime is over.

List of fetishes

There are many different types of sexual fetish, although this fetish list is shorter than our list of kinks. As explained at the start, the line between kink and fetish will depend on your relationship to it. This fetish list is designed to be illustrative of the kind of objects, fabrics, and body parts that are most commonly fetishized.

Feet

Some people are sexually aroused by feet—this is known as a foot fetish. Those who have a foot fetish are often turned on by the visual appeal, or by the idea of being touched or masturbated by someone else’s feet (a ‘foot job’ as opposed to the more traditional ‘hand job’). Many people satisfy their foot fetish by looking at images of feet or asking their partner to expose their feet or allow them to ‘worship’ them with foot rubs, licks and kisses. They may enjoy a specific part of the foot, such as toes or heels, or extend their foot fetish to include a love of certain types of shoe: sandals, heels, boots, or anything else.

Hands

Similar to a foot fetish, a hand fetish means that someone is sexually aroused by hands. The movement of the fingers, the shape of the palms, or the way that hands can be used to do various things. Many people find hands arousing generally, but what elevates this to a ‘hand fetish’ as opposed to just a kink is if someone finds it difficult (or impossible) to get off if there is no focus on hands during sexual play. Someone who has a hand fetish might enjoy watching their partner do specific things with their hands—from sexual things such as masturbation to less sexual things like sewing, card shuffling, or other tasks which involve manual dexterity.

Hair

Hair grows all over our bodies, and a hair fetish might refer to any type of hair: the hair on someone’s head, their pubic hair, or a penchant for a particularly hairy back or chest. Those with a pubic hair fetish might enjoy seeing their partner unshaved, or seek out porn where people have left their own pubic hair to grow out. Someone with a hair fetish focused on head hair may enjoy touching and stroking it, or having it draped in their face during sex and masturbation.

Tattoos and piercings

Altering and adding to your body can be very sexy, and those with a tattoo fetish or a piercing fetish (or both) are aroused by seeing (and/or having sex with) people who have made these kinds of alterations. A tattoo fetish doesn’t have to focus outwards, either: some people with a tattoo fetish want to see their own skin tattooed. Likewise with a piercing fetish—sometimes the appeal comes from having one’s own skin pierced. The sensation of being tattooed/pierced combined with the visual delight of seeing your own body adorned can be extremely arousing.

Underwear

You don’t often get to see people’s underwear in the course of everyday life, so it’s unsurprising that for some people, seeing it is a fetish. Those who have an underwear fetish might fulfil it by seeing their partner wearing special underwear for them, or buying and wearing that underwear themselves. An underwear fetish can run both ways at the same time, and it doesn’t have to be purely visual either: some people enjoy the scent of used panties or other worn underwear, and their underwear fetish leans more towards sniffing underwear that’s been worn by somebody else.

Uniforms

Some people are aroused by the sight (and touch, and roleplay implications) of uniforms. Those with a uniform fetish might have a broad one, where they’re aroused by all kinds of uniformed characters. Others may have a specific uniform fetish for one particular type: police officer, firefighter, naval officer, army cadet, nurse, paramedic… The list of possible jobs which might fulfil a uniform fetish is as long as the list of uniformed jobs. If you can think of a uniform, chances are someone somewhere in the world will have a fetish for that particular outfit. Sometimes this kind of fetish is linked to a desire for a particular kind of sexual relationship—for instance, one where you’re instructed by an authority figure. Sometimes it may be linked to an especially sexy moment in their life—for example, a tryst with a sexy nurse that has stayed with them. There are many reasons why a uniform fetish might appeal.

Latex

Latex fetish is the headline here but in truth there are many different fabrics that people fetishize. With latex, part of the appeal is the tight, shiny, restrictive material. It’s body-hugging and unique—people rarely wear latex in their everyday life, so the fabric’s properties are often only ever enjoyed when someone’s indulging their latex fetish.

Alongside latex fetishes, some people also have a leather fetish, a silk fetish, a velvet fetish… you name it. Usually when people have a latex fetish (or fetish for another kind of fabric) they are looking to indulge it by either wearing the material themselves, and enjoying the feel of it on their own skin, or being with someone else who is wearing it, so they can have the opportunity to look at or touch someone who is wrapped in the sexy fabric.

Other fetishes

Almost anything can be fetishized, so the above fetish list just covers off some of the most popular. But in truth you could have a fetish for almost any object, fabric, body part, or anything else. Some people have a fetish for power tools, or cars. Some have fetishes for mythical creatures like dragons. Some have a food fetish that’s fulfilled by bringing tasty food into the bedroom and being forced to eat it by a dominant. If you have a fetish that is not on this list, you’re almost guaranteed to not be alone!

The Complete List of Kinks and Fetishes?

As explained at the start, no list of kinks could ever possibly include everything anyone might be turned on by. The world is a huge place, and human sexuality is as varied as the individuals who populate it. But hopefully this guide to popular softcore and hardcore kinks, combined with the fetish list, has given you a good overview of the kinds of things that can be kinked and fetishized, and perhaps given you a new perspective on the things that you might find sexy. If you’re looking for more inspiration, check out some of our hot kinky sex stories and films for a more hands-on adventure!

Whether you want to be spanked or think you have a foot fetish, have a yearning for sexual nipple play or an underwear fetish you’d like to explore, know that there are many others out there who share those interests and embark on them in safe and consensual ways. Your own kink journey will be unique to you, we hope you have fun exploring it!