How to Make Him Cum? A Guide to His Orgasm

This guide is all about pleasure and orgasms. The Big O, Climax, Cumming, Nutting, Spurt… or known under many other nicknames; the male orgasm, or the orgasms experienced by people with penises, are nowhere as simplistic as they are often regarded. It is all too often that penile masturbation and the way people with penises and men orgasm are seen as juvenile and almost comical. Orgasms are multi-faceted and can be quick, and exaggerated, alongside being prolonged and delayed. They are uplifting, stress-relieving, good for our mental health, and amazing. Not that they need any justifications, as it is fine to simply just want to orgasm. Our bodies are fascinating instruments which should be played to our own rhythms to make beautiful, orgasmic music. 

And contrary to stereotypical beliefs and toxic masculinity culture, pleasure for men is not limited to the penis. The crotch and buttocks are jam-packed full of erogenous zones and hot spots that are crying for stimulation. And yes, this includes the anus. And playing with the anus does not make one homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, or even questioning—it is just pleasure. In this guide, we’ll explore the glories of the penis covering techniques on how to ejaculate, penile anatomy and how to best pleasure your penis!

Understanding penile anatomy 

It is very easy to think of a penis as something that just needs to be stroked to orgasm or used to urinate. Let us not patronise these intricate external organs which are jam-packed full of pleasurable potential. The penis, and male body, are much more complicated than that—and they feature lots of different pleasure spots that deliver sensations, enhance erections, and alter how the orgasm feels. It is worth noting that not all pleasurable parts are within the penis itself, as the anus, prostate, perineum, and testicles are all hot spots worth exploring in both solo, partnered, and group playtime for male stimulation.

Glans

The glans (or head) of the penis is the most sensitive part of the penis owner’s body. This ultra-sensitive point, shaped a little like a helmet, is jam-packed full of 4,000 extremely sensitive nerve endings. Comically nicknamed the ‘bell-end’ in British culture due to its (sometimes) striking resemblance to a bell, this hot spot is a great place to start with any type of penile stimulation. 

Uncircumcised penises will have glans ‘hidden’ by the foreskin attached by a small tag of skin on the underside of the penis called the frenulum, which can retract while erect to expose the glans. You can still stimulate the glans while the foreskin is covering it due to the fact it is so sensitive and tender.

Circumcised penises will have the glans exposed, as the skin and tissue that covers it has been removed.

Foreskin

The foreskin, or the prepuce, is a fleshy and soft double-layered sheath of skin that covers the glans (the penis head) and increases the pleasure of both penetration and masturbation when stroked and stimulated. The foreskin typically retracts as the penis becomes erect, exposing the glans and frenulum, which are always visible on uncircumcised penises, helping to deliver direct pleasure into all those highly sensitive nerve endings.

Every penis is different, however, and some uncircumcised penises have foreskin which does not retract all the way back—which can be uncomfortable to live with or can result in medical intervention. Some people with foreskins enjoy stimulation while the foreskin is fully covering the glans, some with it mostly covering the glans, and some with the glans fully exposed, which is why it really helps to communicate with your partner(s) when it comes to penile stimulation.

Circumcised people do not have a foreskin, which is most commonly removed at birth for religious, hygiene, or for medical reasons such as phimosis (tight foreskin). 

Shaft

Beginning as floppy and fleshy, the shaft of the penis grows, expands, and warms in the process of achieving an erection. The penis shaft is made up of three parts: the corpus spongiosum and two corpora cavernosa, and erections happen due to all three being filled with blood—often due to sexual arousal and/or stimulation. But not always, as some erections can be spontaneous. 

The erect shaft is a vital instrument during penetration and gives the penis-owner and their partner(s) firm length and girth to touch and stroke orally, vaginally, and anally pleasure. The erection works as a penetrator to help guide the sensitive glans and shaft length into the desired place and works to help make the penis easy to hold, during solo-play, or playing with sex toys for penises. Its firmness makes it ideal for penetrative stimulation, to massage the G-Spot and P-Spot, alongside being used to stimulate external erogenous zones.

When erect, the shaft is firm to the touch with an engorged and often very vascular in appearance. And while erect, it is firm enough (as nature designed) to penetrate with ease and eventually reach the male orgasm. 

Testicles

The testicles are a part of the male (and people assigned male at birth) anatomy which hang behind the penis inside of the scrotum—a pouch of tender skin—and produce both sperm and male hormones. After sperm is created inside the testes, it travels via the vas deferens, a muscular tube (or sperm duct), to the ampulla, which is where seminal fluid is made—resulting in semen. People will typically have two testicles, but some people have one, this is known as Monorchism. 

Also known as testes, balls, nuts, and gonads, amongst many other descriptions, these glands are extremely sensitive meaning they can be both utilised for stimulation and pleasure, but are also very sensitive to trauma and discomfort. So, while they should be approached with sensual care and caution, they can absolutely be part of mind-blowing sexual playtime.

The location of the scrotum being outside of the body is simply one of nature’s many beautifully intelligent designs. It’s too warm inside of the body to efficiently produce sperm for semen, so the testicles being housed outside allow for optimum natural temperature control. 

Anus 

Anal stimulation has transitioned from being a provocative and sometimes deemed both unhygienic and sacrilegious practise, into a beautiful and popular part of sex and intimacy. Many people find anal stimulation both physically and psychologically stimulating due to its taboo nature and sensational qualities.

The anus is the opening of the rectum to the outside of the body, and I think we are all aware of its primary function. This tight ‘ring’ (anus means ‘ring’ or ‘circle’ in Latin) has a high concentration of nerve endings, making it a hugely popular erogenous zone for people of all genders and sexualities. With extended stimulation and ideally lubricated stimulation, the anus can be stroked and massaged from being tense and tight to being plump and receptive to ‘incoming traffic’. They may feel tight, but the anus can, with the correct care, stretch up to 7 inches before taking damage. 

If done correctly, anal stimulation can transition with comfort, ease, and adequate lubrication from external to internal penetration. This is totally down to personal preferences and one’s own limits, as solely external stimulation can be delightful and satisfying on its own. This can take the form of full penetration by another person with a penis, with the use of an anal sex toy, with gently directed fingers, a tongue, or with the use of an anal sex toy and/or strap-on. 

Anal play is wonderfully stimulating (and sometimes hands-free orgasmic) if done with the correct preparation, lubricant, and aftercare. If you start small, take it slow, communicate, and lubricate—you will find that anal play is not quite as intimidating as it may appear.

Prostate

The prostate gland is a rubbery, walnut-sized gland which is located around 4 inches inside of the penis-owner’s anus. It is located just below the bladder and in front of the rectum, and its primary function is to produce seminal fluid which both nourishes and transports sperm. The prostate is reached by going inside and gently curving around in a ‘come hither’ motion towards the front of the body as if you want to massage the persons tummy from the inside.

Prostate stimulation can be extremely pleasurable and can lead to prostate orgasm and penile ejaculation, alongside waking up all those sensitive nerve endings prior to other types of anal play and/or penetration, helping make the experience extra exciting. Prostate stimulation has also been documented as triggering immediate and/or rapid ejaculation.

The growth of sales in sex shops of prostate stimulators, stokers, vibrators, and massagers has exploded in numbers over the past 10-years with the expansion in sex technology and the gradual normalisation of anal play amongst cisgendered heterosexual males. Prostate orgasm for men is swiftly becoming incredibly desirable, and it is because it feels explosive and fantastic, with many penis-owners describing it as ‘a new type of orgasm’. 

Prostate massage can also be fulfilled externally by applying pressure and rubbing the perineum (the gap between the testicles and the anus) close to the anus, where it feels softer. You should push and massage in circular motions, focusing on the area that triggers sensations like feeling the need to urinate.

The Male G Spot 

The prostate is now commonly known as the male G spot due to its orgasmic qualities and its ability to exaggerate the explosive sensations of internal and external orgasms. This internal hot spot, around 4 inches inside you, can be stimulated for the best prostate orgasm by using finger(s), an anal sex toy, a penis, or a targeted prostate stimulator. 

The male G spot can be stimulated as part of partnered play (where the ‘passive’ partner receives penetration from products or a penis), prior to deeper anal play, or even can be stimulated as the person with a prostate is penetrating someone else. There are lots of incredible sex toys on the market which allow the ‘top’ (the person penetrating) to have their prostate massaged and stimulated as they make love to the bottom (the person being penetrated), which are often attached by a cock and ball ring. These deliver all-encompassing pleasure. It is important to highlight that prostate stimulation does not have to be passive, it can be part of all different types of intimacy and sex.

Also known as the P-spot, the prostate gland can have its own independent orgasms, which happen as an orgasmic response to direct stimulation. The prostate orgasm is easily achieved by some people and difficult to achieve by others—which is why it is often written off as a myth. It is, however, very real but can just be difficult to reach. It takes practise, comfort, familiarity, and can be enhanced by penile masturbation and perineum massage. 

How to make him cum hard

Arousal takes many forms, and achieving an erection is different for every single person. While the stereotype is that intimacy, such as kissing and massage, will result in penile erection—this is not always the case. And it is important to not take it personally if it does not happen as swiftly as you would expect. Every person’s body is different, and it is easier to understand how to make a guy hard if you can communicate and understand what makes gets them going sexually. 

Some people with penises respond best to physical stimulation and some psychological. The penis, testicles, perineum, and surrounding areas are like a treasure map of stimulating bliss, so let us discuss some ways to utilise your body and movements to make the penis in your life nice and hard. 

Penis foreplay

Achieving an erection requires stimulation, whether that be physical or psychological. But often, they rely on being stimulated by touch, moisture, and suction, which are applied in the correct ways. And for some penises, they will respond to those in any way. You can stimulate a penis by simply stroking it and watching how it responds to the touch, and going from there.

Using your hands

With your hands, you can touch a penis to help it grow, you can stroke it, gently pull the foreskin up and down as if masturbating while it is flaccid or semi-hard, and eventually masturbate it. When it comes to touching a penis, it is often a good idea to naturally go with the flow instead of having a strict plan. 

If you are unsure of how to masturbate them, ask them to masturbate in front of you and pay close attention to how they hold it, the tightness of their grip, where they grip the penis, how they stroke, do they stroke at an angle? Do they need lube? Do they hold the foreskin over the glans as they glide up? And replicate all their movements in your own way. They will feel like you have read their mind, and you will soon become their very own sex expert. 

Using your lips

With your mouth, you can orally stimulate the penis by placing it in your mouth, stroking the back of the glans with your tongue (focusing on the frenulum area), or simply licking it up and down. Penises respond well to touch, gentle pressure, and moisture. 

Urethral play

This is the stimulation and penetration of the urethra. The hole a man urinate and ejaculate from. Also known, in some cases, as ‘sounding’ – this is where the sensitive nerve-endings within the penis hole are massaged, stroked or simply plugged. There are lots of different ways to orgasm with urethral play, in fact, many penis-owners claim that urethral play gives them a stronger erection than any other type of penis stimulation.

It’s incredibly important that you only use products designed for urethral play. There is simply no excuse to use anything other than an expertly crafted urethral toy – alongside a sterile lubrication. This makes it sound oh-so-complicated and expensive, but I assure you that it’s neither. The last thing you want to do is hurt or put bacteria into the urethra. I’m sure I don’t need to elaborate on that, as the horror stories can quite easily write themselves.

Don’t let me scare though, though. When it’s done properly (which is incredibly easy to do), it can be fabulous. Lots of users enjoy bringing themselves to orgasm simply by stroking the toys up and down inside of the urethra. This is also known as a ‘U-Gasm’. This step is not for beginners, however, and I’d only advise that experienced urethral players dip their toes into this level of urethral stimulation.

You can also plug the urethra with a toy, you can get urethral toys with ‘through-holes’ which is used to urinate and ejaculate through, you can get ribbed toys, etc. Very experienced players are known to use deep sounds that reach down the urethra to stimulate the body inside. There are also sperm stoppers, which sit as a ring around the penis head (or ‘bell end’ as I elegantly call it) and prevent urine, pre-cum, and sperm from coming out.

There are also spreaders and stretchers, alongside electro-erotic-stimulation (electro-stimulation) toys – but these are for very experienced players.

Frenulum stimulation

This is quite self-explanatory but feels absolutely amazing. Also known as the ‘banjo string’ area, the ‘sweet spot’ and the ‘male G-Spot’ (for those who haven’t tried or aren’t into prostate stimulation). The nerve-endings at the back of the penis head are very sensitive. Massaging, teasing, stroking, tickling, and rubbing this point often deliver intense pleasure to the receiver. Some people are very sensitive, so take it slow at first – and again with so many sexual practices: LUBE IS YOUR FRIEND.

Talk dirty to them

Psychologically, you can stimulate your partner by dirty talking to them, describing what you want to do with their penis, and even telling them by mutually sharing your fantasies. You can masturbate in front of them, massage your own erogenous zones, pose in something that makes you feel sexy, dance, and more. Mutual masturbation is also an incredible way to not only pleasure them but to build intimacy between you both.

Let your imagination have fun here and express yourself freely—you can often find that it’s your own sexual attitude and how you feel about yourself that will inspire or influence your partner(s). A quality person with a penis will fantasise about the idea of someone that genuinely loves sex, so do not be afraid to show that. 

Some of the best male orgasms are achieved by a beautiful collaboration of physical and psychological stimulation. 

Contrary to popular belief and the visuals provided in adult films, an erection is not actually essential for ejaculation, and many people with penises who suffer from erectile dysfunction (ED) are able to reach orgasm without becoming fully erect. See prostate orgasms.

Testicles foreplay 

Stimulating the scrotum and testicles is a great way to awaken arousal in your partner(s) and help to deliver an all-compassing sensation of pleasure as opposed to simply stimulating the penis. Testicular stimulation can help people with penises both achieve and maintain erections.

It is important to remember, while playing with balls, just how sensitive and tender these glands are. Unless instructed otherwise, treat them like you are handling an egg and do not want to crack or break the shell. But this ultra-sensitivity can be utilised for good with sensual stimulation and pressure being applied with loving care. Allow yourself to love those balls, and they will love you right back. 

Using your mouth

You can roll your tongue all over the balls, being careful not to ‘hit’ or ‘bounce’ them, as this will send a shock sensation into your partner’s groin. Gently massage them, and be sure to stroke your tongue all over, remembering that beautiful tickling sensation that each stroke will give, especially on areas you have not covered already. You can also roll your tongue down the ticklish crevice where the testicles meet the groin, which will send sensual tingling into the crotch.

You can also gently rest the balls in your mouth, using your tongue as a resting plate for them. Gently apply suction with your lips while slowly rubbing them back and forth with your tongue. Remember to keep your lips wet to avoid any uncomfortable gripping and releasing as you move. 

Pulling and tugging

Testicles respond well to being gently pulled away from the body, which is why lots of best-selling cock and ball sex toys feature separator straps, ball stretchers, and splitters. The pressure can feel great for the penis owner, and the tugging sensation can enhance erections. 

You will find that the longer you keep the scrotum and testicles moist and warm and the more that you stimulate them, the droopier the sack will get. So, if you are looking to satisfy them, or maybe they are responding well to the testicular stimulation you are gifting with your loving hard work—why not make this your goal?! Continue stimulating them until they have gone from a tight testes sack to a pair of slippery, bouncy low-hangers. Mission accomplished. 

When playing with balls, remember the following: sensual and moist with smooth, targeted pressure. 

Other ways to pleasure a man

Men, or people with penises, as we touched on at the beginning of this guide, are often patronised in terms of which parts of their bodies bring them pleasure or how to make them orgasm. Don’t be afraid to investigate other ways to pleasure a man or someone with a penis, as curiosity is often rewarded when it comes to sensual playtime.

Do not overlook the nipples, the perineum, and even body parts such as behind the knees and the feet. Anywhere that is ticklish or sensitive can often be incorporated into erotic playtime. Sometimes, it pays to dive in fearlessly and let them see the excitement in your eyes as you explore them head-to-toe. 

So, let us break down some popular questions and curiosities, when it comes to the male and penis-owner’s body, and give some tips and tricks into how to heighten his pleasure…

Do men have G spots?

When asking the question, “do people with penises have G-spots?” or “do men have G-spots?” it is important to think about what a G-spot is. It is an area of increased sensitivity that can be stimulated into orgasmic bliss with targeted stimulation and/or communication. So, do they have G-spots? YES, they do!

The penis-owner’s anatomy is multi-faceted and extremely fun, so all focus does not have to be on one area—and if someone does not enjoy the sensation of one hot spot being targeted, there are plenty more to enjoy. For example, there are many people who will not enjoy their anus being stimulated but will absolutely adore their glans being played with, and all curiosities surrounding whether they are into certain practises or not can be solved by either simply asking them—or by trying new things together. 

The primary focus should be on the most sensitive spots on the penis-owners body; the glans, the anus, and the prostate gland—which popularly takes the nickname ‘the male G Spot.’ All these delightfully sensitive hot-spots can be utilised to give truly sensational pleasure, by dictionary definition. 

Exploring prostate play

Prostate play is incredible when done properly, so let us discuss the best ways to stimulate the P-spot and make the most of this juicy and orgasmic internal hot spot for beginners. 

As we all know, the anus’ primary function is to go to the toilet, and therefore, it is used for ‘one-way traffic’ and the comfortable graduation into pleasurable anal playtime, is to ease the body into learning to relax and helping those muscles relax into accepting anal penetration. 

Using an anal douche

One effective way to relax the anus prior to penetration for prostate play is by using an anal douche (a handheld enema device) with warm water, and plenty of lubricant. The repeated action of inserting the well-lubricated douche nozzle and releasing warm water inside to clear out any residual faecal matter, helps to relax you. This does so by getting the body used to the sensation of the nozzle’s insertion, alongside gradually warming you up (and therefore relaxing you) inside with the release of the warm water. 

Using prostate toys

Prostate toys are primarily made to focus on the area they target rather than girth and length, so use one of these instead of a dildo or a vibrator. There are countless incredible prostate toys out there which feature curvaceous designs that have been expertly created for an anatomical fit and to slide effortlessly into the natural grooves and contours of your body. They may appear a little intimidating at first, but rest assured that they are all about what they hit and not about how much they stretch. The curved bulbous head at the end of their probe design is expertly positioned to push directly onto the prostate gland. 

To comfortably insert a prostate toy, make sure the person is adequately lubricated and with a good quality, ultra-slick lubricant. A creamier, hybrid lubricant (mix of water-based and silicone-based) would be ideal. Apply a generous amount of lubricant to the toy, and apply liberally to the anus entrance—being careful of any sharp nails—and gently press the head of the toy against the anus’ entrance.

When beginning insertion, it helps to gently ‘push’ your muscles out as if going to the toilet. This will help relax the muscles outwards, and the toy will glide inside with much more ease. The puckering of the anus helps to ‘reach out’ and grab the toy to pull it into pride-of-place. 

Once the toy has been inserted past a couple of inches, the body ‘pulls’ the toy up into place, and it will ‘pop’ right in against the prostate. Do not be alarmed if there is a sudden urge or the need to urinate, as this simply means the toy has hit the right spot.

Using a finger

If using a finger to indulge in prostate massage, apply a generous amount of lubricant to the longest finger on your hand and the anus, and make sure the nails are buffered and smooth. If there are long nails on the hand, you can use a medicinal-style latex or non-latex glove to buffer the sharp edges. 

Using the muscle ‘push’ method mentioned above in regards to using a prostate toy, gently guide the finger inside, and once down to the knuckle (which may take a few attempts), gently begin to stroke against the front of the body in a curved ‘come hither’ motion. 

Achieving the best prostate orgasm

There are two things which are paramount when it comes to prostate orgasm: you must be aroused, and you must be relaxed. This can come from the position that you are in, the amount of lubricant being used, whether you are playing solo or with partner(s), and even the stress and anxiety levels you are currently at. 

Finding the prostate

Once inside, you will be able to gently stroke and explore with your fingertips or the end of the toy until the prostate has been found. The toy will find it quite effortlessly, but the finger may take a little exploration—so dedicate a good amount of time to this and focus on breathing and muscle control exercises to make it a little easier. 

Prostate stimulation may feel strange and somewhat of a shock to the system at first, and this is because you are stimulating a part of the body which has never been stimulated before. Investing some time and delicate effort into this beautiful part of the body is well worth it and will only reward you in the end.

Best positions for prostate orgasm

Make sure the person is in a comfortable and relaxed position with a towel nearby should you need to dry your hands of lubricant. It often helps to lie on the left side, with knees against the chest, as this position is known for relaxing the anal passage. Another comfortable alternative is kneeling in a ‘praying’ position and eventually holding the toy in place by resting the buttocks on the feet. 

Prostate orgasm is typically reached by stroking the prostate and gently rubbing it, whether that we with a sex toy or a fingertip. The trick is to find the rhythm, motion, and positions which awaken and stimulate the nerve endings in the way that best works for you.

Individual preferences

Some people will find they can only achieve prostate orgasm when using a toy, some with fingers, and some can only reach prostate orgasm while being penetrated by a penis or a strap-on dildo/probe. While there are some anal players who have never achieved prostate orgasm after years of trying. Everybody is different, and you must be ‘in it to win it’. 

Take it slow, feel every sensation, and remove it if it becomes uncomfortable. Nothing should be forced; it should be gradual and sensational. And it should never feel painful. Anal can feel shocking and a bit sore, as you are stimulating nerve endings, but it should never give you pain. 

Why does cumming feel good?

Cumming is wonderful and seen as the peak experience of sexual pleasure for people with penises. But have you ever been curious about why does cumming feel good?

Cumming is a complex interplay between brain and body which results in a mouth-wateringly explosive experience that leaves penis-owners with the perfect blend of being fulfilled but also wanting more. 

When your body reaches orgasm, it releases dopamine, which not only feels great in the brain but can reduce stress levels and after the orgasm itself, helping to deliver a sensation of enhanced intimacy and relaxation. And not only this but cumming has been accredited with regulating anxiety and reducing the risk of heart disease

As the build-up to cumming approaches or ‘getting close’, the scrotum tightens, and the testes start to leak fluid. This is known as precum, and while containing live sperms, it helps to increase arousal and lubricate. Then, we hit the ORGASM. 

There is a section of the brain called the striatum, which carries the nickname ‘the reward centre’ and acts as the mesolimbic dopamine pathway. And when someone is cumming, this reward centre is activated, leading to an intense emotional response. During this same moment, the lateral orbitofrontal cortex (the section of the brain associated with self-control), is inhibited. This collaboration delivers the orgasmic sensations of stress reduction, reward, and pleasure. 

Now consider all the above alongside the fact that during orgasm, the body delivers explosive contractions in the penile muscles as well as the muscles near the anus. These powerful muscle spasms propel or ‘shoot’ cum, and deliver the powerful explosive orgasm sensations. All of this happens alongside a rapid quickening of breath and full-body sensitivity. This is why it feels good. 

Can men have multiple orgasms?

Penises cannot experience technical multiple cumming orgasms, and this is because, after ejaculation, they experience a ‘reactionary period’ which is averagely around 15-30 minutes for an 18-year-old but can take up to 20 hours for someone who is 70 years old and older. This is because, after orgasm, the penis is telling the brain that the blood that fills the penis during arousal, developing an erection within the shaft, is no longer needed. Products such as Viagra and Cialis can assist with continuous erections but cannot guarantee a typical transition into orgasm.

Although, it is worth noting that there has been little scientific investigation into the topic of multiple-male orgasms. Not everybody is the same, and some people with penises do have a notably shorter ‘recovery time’, meaning their ability to reach erection in the shaft and then cum is less difficult. 

Can men have multiple orgasm sensations? Yes, and this can be achieved in many ways, including stimulating erogenous zones during playtime, breathing exercises, adding sex toys and fetish accessories into the mix—and also by indulging in the wonderful art (and experience) of edging and non-ejaculatory orgasm practises. 

Edging and non-ejaculatory orgasm

Edging is the tantalising sexual practice of stimulating a penis to the brink of orgasm… but then stopping so there is no ejaculation orgasm. It’s designed to tease and build pleasure—but it also manages to serve as a training tool for penile satisfaction. 

It is most popularly done with masturbation but can also be done orally, anally, or vaginally. This is repeated over and over, keeping yourself or your playmate on the ‘edge’ of orgasm—helping to build sensations. 

The length of time spent edging is completely up to you; it’s advisable for beginners of edging to only bring themselves to the brink of orgasm around 4-5 times and build up from there to what feels normal and completely comfortable to the system. It should never be uncomfortable or frustrating; it should only build excitement.

Edging is unique in that it gives players the ability to prolong pleasure by not having an orgasm, which may sound confusing, but it’s incredibly popular for a reason—and especially amongst BDSM players. It’s a fantastic way to build tension, awaken all of the erogenous zones around the crotch and buttocks, as well as build intimacy between partners.

But can men or people with penises have orgasms without ejaculating? The answer is YES. Cumming is great, but learning other ways to enjoy our incredible bodies allows us to both open our minds to our own understanding of pleasure—but also help us become better lovers. 

Alongside prostate orgasm, as we discussed earlier, there is a popular practice named non-ejaculatory multiple orgasm (NEMO). This method has been elaborately explored through yogic lineages from China, Tibet, and India – and is all about gradually learning to control your pelvic floor. 

It is mainly controlled and understood by controlling the pubococcygeus muscle, also known as the PC. This is an ‘hammock-like’ muscle, which is found in bodies of all genders, and stretches from the pelvic bone, through to the coccyx (the tail bone). The PC muscle forms the floor of the pelvic cavity and supports the pelvic organs, and it can be ‘mastered’ by clenching and releasing as if you’re trying to prevent urination.

As with any muscle, like going to the gym, it becomes stronger and easier to understand with more exercise and ‘flexing’. So, as with most aspects of wonderful sex and pleasure: PRACTISE MAKES PERFECT. 

Best positions for penis play

We are sure you’ve read countless guides dedicated to sexual positions, but we rarely learn about the best positions to pleasure a penis, the testicles, and all of the other delightfully sensitive erogenous zones. Let’s break down a few sex-citing ways to enjoy the male or the penis-owners body and make the most of their gorgeous frame. 

Missionary

Missionary gets a bad reputation for being basic, but it’s actually a wonderfully sensual and intimate way to indulge in all facets of sexual playtime. Missionary gives you a face-to-face and body-to-body level of intimacy that cannot be achieved by many other sexual positions. And for stimulating the body of a man or someone with a penis, it gives you easy access to all of those gorgeous hot spots discussed in this guide; the penis, the testicles, the perineum, the anus, and the prostate gland. 

In typical ‘missionary’ for penetrative sex, it is the receptive partner who is usually on their back—but with missionary, for penile and erogenous zones stimulation—it benefits both partners (or more) for the penis-owner to be the person reclining or laying back with their thighs open. You’ll find it extra-easy to give all-encompassing pleasure by getting your lover to sit their buttocks on a pillow to raise their perineum and anus into accessible pride-of-place. 

Face-sitting blow jobs

Oral sex can be as versatile, comfortable, and flexible as you want to make it. And don’t be afraid to enjoy it—blow jobs can be as exciting for the giver as the receiver if you allow yourself to relax and enjoy them. 

As with any kind of orgasmic playtime, you should always start small but try and stay open-minded to expanding and exploring new ways to enjoy both your body and your partner(s). And what’s the best accessory to have during sexploration? COMMUNICATION. 

One exciting way to explore the penis and surrounding areas is to indulge in face-sitting blowjobs, and yes, this means that the man sits on top and directs the penis both down and into the mouth. Not only does this feel incredibly intimate but it gives the other partner easy-access to reach around to stimulate the testicles, the anus—alongside other erogenous zones such as the nipples. 

The position of the man, or person with a penis, on top of the receptive blowjob partner gives them fun access to enjoy a new sensation of penile pleasure and allow them to control strokes into the mouth—almost imitating the sensation of vaginal or anal penetration. This can quickly transition into ‘face fucking’, which should be communicated clearly, as oral abilities vastly differentiate between different people.

It’s advisable to partake in face-sitting blow jobs by using a safe word or safe action (such as double tapping on the body) to let your partner know if the penis has slid too deep inside of your mouth and throat. Because, sometimes, it’s not easy to speak with a mouthful—is it? Having a partner with a penis on top is also a good way to figure out how ‘deep’ a penis can be handled down the throat canal.

If you’re playing alone, you can introduce a penis masturbator into the mix to enjoy this sensation alone. There are incredible penis-pleasure-toys out there which have been designed to replicate the sensations of vaginal, oral and anal intercourse—and even luxury masturbatory products which feature custom vibrations, suctions, and tightness options.

Shower and bath play

There’s a lot to be said about the inclusion and exploration of temperature-play and hydro-play during all types of sex. It’s popular, and for good reason! Many people find having sex in the bath, shower, or spa to be more pleasurable, alongside adding to various elements of sensuality throughout the body. A huge number of women, or people with vulvas, helped encourage the sex-technology industry to develop clitoral and vaginal stimulators which are waterproof due to the popularity of using them in the bath and/or shower. 

Water, warmth, and cooling effects can heighten arousal and exploring the changing of temperatures during sex and intimacy can help to awaken areas which can gradually desensitise after lots of physical attention (for example; penis, nipples, clitoris, etc.). It’s ideal for sensual massage and body worship too.

Not only can you explore temperature but it can assist with performance confidence due to hygiene. There are plenty of players out there who love to feel ‘cleaner’ and like they are smelling fresh during sex. So, naturally, playing under running water can really assist with this comfort and, therefore, result in a more fulfilling session for them.

Having sex with someone you find desirable underneath flowing water is erotic, intimate, and delivers powerful visual stimulation. Sex in the shower or bath should always be fun and not stressful, so it’s advisable to indulge in this beautifully erotic playtime with someone you can comfortably communicate with. 

Always make sure you have safe footing and avoid slippery surfaces, being mindful of where any stray globs of lubricant may land. Therefore, it’s important to think about where you indulge in shower and bath play as well as where you place your hands, feet, knees and buttocks during sex. Make sure you always have a towel close by and a non-slip shower mat. There are also wonderful pieces of bathroom sex furniture (handles and footrests) which feature powerful suction cup fixtures for comfortable sex.

Please note that you should always use an appropriate lubricant during bath or shower play, and do not replace your typical lube with a shower gel or cream. Lubricants have been specially developed to flatter and work with your intimate zones—adding a soap to the mix can cause irritation. 

Positions for prostate play

As discussed earlier in this love letter to the male, or person with a penis body—comfort is paramount when it comes to exploring prostate play for beginners or intermediates. Don’t be discouraged if you don’t feel completely relaxed on the first attempts, as these things do take time, and with all beautiful things in life—good things cum to those who wait. 

Prostate stimulation is about targeting an exact part of the anatomy, and therefore, there are proven positions and techniques to help with finding the male g spot and milking it to the best of your ability. Positioning can help to make the prostate gland easier to find and make insertion smoother. One of the beautifully accessible factors surrounding prostate play is that doesn’t require deep penetration, as the gland is around 4 – 4.5 inches inside of the anus, which makes it less intimidating for beginners to anal exploration. But, also, due to its very sensitive qualities—it’s equally as satisfying for experienced anal players. 

You’ll find that the most accessible ways to relax for anal penetration are laying on the foetal position (on the left side is recommended, if you’re able to do so), bending on all fours and then kneeling. If you want to find out which position is the most suitable for you, lubricate your fingers and gently try finger insertion in each position—and then use this position as your starting point. 

Positioning, relaxation, and adequate lubrication are must-haves with prostate stimulation. 

Exploring new positions

Trying new things and exploring new ways to pleasure him, or anyone with a penis is one of the best ways to expand your sexual horizons, learn new ways to orgasm, relieve stress, get exercise, and build your sexual performance confidence. 

Making the slightest adjustment to your positioning can allow the body to feel pleasure in entirely new ways, as our bodies are fascinating instruments—which should be played well and explored. For example, try doggy-style (the sex position) with and without your back arched, and you’ll see what we mean. 

A great way to uplift the sexual experience for both you and your partner(s) is to value solo sexual playtime as much as you do with partnered play. Knowledge is power, and the confidence and information we gain from getting to know our own bodies can allow us to all become sexperts.