Anal sex can be a wonderful addition to your sexual repertoire, opening up a whole new world of sensations to enjoy. In this guide we’ll be giving you a comprehensive guide to anal for beginners. We understand there can be some trepidation and preconceptions when it comes to anal sex so we hope to provide you with some good advice on how to do anal for the first time in a comfortable and ultimately exciting way.
We’ll be looking at how to prepare emotionally and physically for such an intimate act that requires trust and patience to get the most enjoyability out of it.
We’ll cover solo anal sex and other anal experiences, how to introduce the idea to your partner, and how to actually go about having anal for the first time.
You might be horrified at the thought, you might be thrilled, but if you’ve never tried it before, we want to tempt you into making backdoor fun part of your pleasure with this anal for beginners guide.
What is anal sex?
Anal sex is that act of sexually stimulating the anus and penetrating it with a penis, finger, tongue, sex toy or other object with the goal of pleasure and arousal in mind.
The anus has a very rich network of nerve endings and a plentiful blood supply, so once you’re comfortable with the idea, you could find stimulation of the anus can give you incredibly intense sensations that can lead to fantastic strong orgasms and even anal orgasms. Because there can be quite a lot of emotional and physical preparation, the build-up alone to anal sex can already heighten arousal.
So who can have anal sex?
Well, the joy of receiving anal sex can be experienced by anyone. Certain medical issues will prevent some people from indulging in anal, so check if you have any colorectal issues.
If you have a penis, you can also be a giver of anal pleasure, and so too with a strap-on. Using a strap-on to have anal sex with your partner is sometimes called pegging.
Can you do anal alone?
Yes! There are many ways for solo bum fun—we will look at sex toys in more detail later on in this guide, but if you are using a butt plug or dildo, ensure that the base is flared and larger in diameter than the part inside you. The anal cavity does not have a closed end like the vagina, so objects can get ‘lost’ if they pass through the anus and into the rectum if you’re not careful. The vagina is closed at the top by the cervix, a very tight ring of muscles that keeps the uterus closed, so a stray vibrator could not easily get lost in the vagina.
Start small, even with the tip of a very lubed-up finger. You will be amazed at how large and invasive any initial probing feels. That’s because of all of those lovely nerve endings. Breathing and relaxing are very important.
Partnered anal sex can add a whole dimension of trust and intimacy into a relationship, especially if you’re trying anal for the first time with someone, so it’s worth practising on yourself during masturbation with some tentative strokes at first to see if you connect with this different kind of sensuality.
Anal orgasms can be the most intense climaxes you’ve experienced, and we think it’s well worth giving yourself over to try this experience.
What are the benefits?
Some of the benefits of anal sex are increased intimacy in relationships, a deeper more intense orgasm, something new and different to explore with your partner and yourself.
Female anal orgasms can be particularly intense and for the giver, to feel the tightening around your finger or penis as your partner comes around you, can be very exciting. Anal orgasms are such a different sensation to vaginal orgasms and you might find the gripping sensation around your penis or strap-on highly arousing.
Having anal sex, especially for the first time, means you must slow everything down. You have to listen very carefully to each other’s voices and bodies to ensure you are both enjoying the experience and determine whether you need to go even slower.
What are the cons?
The cons of anal sex are mainly mitigated with good communication and preparation. Without which, there can be pain, embarrassment, mess and mistrust.
As we’ve already established, anal can be an incredibly intense experience, this can quickly fall into the realms of pain if you are not fully relaxed and have consented to the moment.
The skin around the anus and sphincter can tear fairly easily so you must use copious amounts of a good thick lube specially designed for anal sex. The vagina is self-lubricating, but the anus is not. So while saliva might work for a very short time, it will soon dry up and cause pain and even tearing to the delicate area. Slather as much as you can around and in the bum and whatever is being inserted.
The vagina is a self-cleaning dream of balanced flora and fauna so you must be very careful not to transfer anything from the bottom to the vagina. Faecal bacteria entering the vagina can cause imbalances and infections, including thrush and bacterial vaginosis.
Does anal cause piles?
Piles or haemorrhoids are swollen blood vessels in and around the anus—mainly caused by straining outwards at the loo. While they are not caused by anal sex, they might be damaged or irritated by anal, especially during a flare up, so listen to what your body is telling you. If you don’t use enough lube, you could cause an anal fissure or tear.
If you are planning on ‘double dipping’ holes, use a fresh condom or wash thoroughly between each ‘dip’. The same goes for oral sex and sex toys—keep one for each or use condoms on the toys.
Shit happens…
Yes, you read right, we’re addressing the elephant in the room! The purpose of the anus as we all know is to eject waste not admit objects. This can be a real psychological barrier to those worried about mess, hygiene and all the other natural elements of being human. We will be giving advice on how to limit any occurrences of poop but let’s be honest, if you are going to be intimate with someone as far as having a part of their body or mouth on or in your bumhole, there are worse things that can happen than a bit of poop!
Unless you are about to go to the bathroom, the rectum isn’t really a holding bay for faeces—that’s usually done a bit further up the colon, however, it’s always a risk so preparation is key as we’ll feature later.