Are you tempted by the thought of some hot, steamy shower sex? Worried about slipping or using sex toys while you’re in there? In this guide on how to have sex in the shower, we aim to give you the lowdown on how to get it on in the water while minimising the risk of accidents, which would definitely ruin the mood.
Wet shower sex carries a wide appeal, perhaps because the warmth of the water adds to the sensations, or because you get to be fully naked with your lover and touch them all over while they’re slippery. Maybe shower sex appeals to you because it makes for easier clean-up, or because you and your partner are into watersports (and not the kind that happen in the ocean!). According to a Cosmo poll from 2020, over 80% of people have had sex in their bathroom, so if you’ve got a whim for wet sex, you are definitely not alone!
To make sure you get the most out of your bathroom-based fun, here are some tips on where to do it, what equipment you might want to try if you’re finding it tricky, as well as the best lube and toys to bring into the water with you.
Best showers to have sex in
Ideally, when you’re having shower sex, you want a shower with a bit of space to move and a secure, flat floor that has non-slip tiles. That means that your best bet for a really hot time is a wet-room style shower rather than something over the bath. The inclines at the edge of the bath can mess with your balance and require a lot more care than a wet room with a solid, flat floor.
Those who are already well-equipped, or who can afford to stay in a hotel with a sumptuous wet room, are already on the path to success, but for the rest of us there are still ways to make a standard shower safer and more welcoming for sex.
Equipment for shower sex
The first vital thing to consider is how slippery your shower is, especially if you’re planning to get very soapy with each other. Non-slip bath mats are a vital investment before you get too energetic in the water, and you can pick these up online without breaking the bank.
You might also want to consider adding grab handles to the walls. People with disabilities and older lovers may be at an advantage here if you already have specialist equipment in your shower or bath to help you get in and out of it—these tools are just as helpful when you’re trying out different positions or stabilising yourself while your lover gets your knees trembling!
You can pick up cheap grab rails for under £10 online which screw into your walls, or for around £45 get handles which attach directly to your bath. For more money, you can get someone to install them for you, and we’d recommend taking this option if you’re not sure about your own DIY skills. If you’re going to be getting adventurous in the shower, investing in something like this makes for a much safer experience.
Best lubes for shower sex
One of the key difficulties with any kind of sex-in-water, whether it’s the ocean or the bath in your home, is that water washes away much of the natural lubrication that is produced by the vagina when aroused. This means that shower sex may need more lube than usual, and it’s best to go with a silicone-based lube if you can. Silicone-based lube tends to last better in water, where water-based lube will be rinsed away quickly and require more frequent topping up.
When it comes to condoms, a note of caution: the wetness from a shower can make it more difficult to put a condom on, and it can also mean that the condom is more likely to slip off. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t use condoms, of course, but if they are your only method of STI and pregnancy prevention, you may want to handle them with extra care or consider using a second contraceptive method if this isn’t a risk you’re willing to take.
As with everything sexy, there is no such thing as ‘safe’ sex, only safer sex. The key is to be aware of the risks—be they slipping in the bath or condoms slipping off—and take practical steps to manage them.
Which sex toys are safe to use in the shower?
It’s vital that you never bring a corded sex toy into the bathroom—water and mains electricity do not mix! But it can be tricky to work out which sex toys are safe to use under the water and which need to stay in the bedroom.
There are two key terms that will help you assess which toys you can safely bring into the shower: ‘waterproof’ and ‘splashproof.’ Waterproof is what you’re looking for. Many sex toys are sold as ‘splashproof’ which means that you can clean them fairly easily under a running tap, but they shouldn’t be fully submerged. A waterproof toy, by contrast, can be fully submerged—or used under a constant stream of water, like in the shower.
You might also want to consider the potential of the shower head as a sex toy too. Many people use flowing water from the shower or even the bath faucet as extra stimulation during masturbation or sex, as the sensations from the water splashing over your clitoris or penis can be intensely fun—in a similar vein to a gentle vibrator. The only thing to watch out for here, of course, is temperature. The skin on your labia/vulva or the head of your penis is much more sensitive than the rest of your body, not to mention thinner and more susceptible to burning. Turn the temp down from what you’d usually shower in, and test the water gently on the sensitive skin of your wrist before you direct the flow at your genitals.
There have even been developments in the sex toy world where there is now a shower head specifically designed to be used in place of your regular head…
Shower sex: best positions
Now we get to the fun part! Which are the best positions for shower sex? This will depend on you and your partner, but here are a few you might like to try.
- Standing up doggy-style: one of the easiest positions in which to have shower sex because both of you get to keep your feet firmly on the floor! The person bending over might want to stabilise themselves by leaning against the wall, or using a well-positioned grab rail to keep things steady. Downsides: usually this means only one of you gets to stand under the flow of the water, so it could be a little chilly for the other one!
- Against the glass or tile: similar to the previous position, but both of you are upright, and the partner being penetrated arches their back for ease of entry. Again, you both get to remain stable, thus there’s less risk of slipping, and this time you’re nice and close together, so you should both be able to get under the flow of the shower head!
- Standing up facing each other: this is an advanced move because usually it requires one of you to have a leg raised for ease of penetration, which means balancing is harder. Even more need for a non-slip mat if this is the position you want to try! But the benefit is that you get to be really close and personal, with the water running down between your bodies.
We’ve focused on penetrative sex for the positions above, but there are plenty of non-penetrative options too. Have you ever given your partner oral underwater? It’s a challenge, and can be especially sexy in a kink context if you also enjoy breath play. Likewise, giving someone a hand job with lots of soap while the water is flowing can add an extra level of intensity to the sensations. Perhaps you or your partner wants to use the soap to lube up breasts or buttocks and then play with those too?
Sex in the shower is particularly inviting for anal play if you’re nervous of any hygiene issues arising. Having the soap on hand can make you feel more relaxed when exploring this truly intense erogenous zone. Well worth having a go!
And what about solo sex in the shower? Playing with yourself under the flow of bubbles and hot water, with a locked door, might give you that extra layer of security and privacy to really go for it! Masturbating in the shower can offer you so many new sensations, and you can take the time to really let go and explore your body. Jets of water cascading over your nipples can feel incredibly invigorating not to mention arousing, so turn around into that stream and see where the mood takes you.
There are plenty of options, and now that you have the safety basics down and a few ideas, you can let your imagination run wild!
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