If you’ve been looking for a way to spice up your sex life, wax play might just be the ticket. Yes, we’re talking about dripping literal wax over your partner for the purpose of enhancing pleasure.
It might sound a bit intense and intimidating, but it’s quite an easy and straightforward way of increasing sexual excitement. Whether you’re a seasoned kinkster or a beginner, you can enjoy wax play.
The question is: How do you get started? Don’t worry. We have the goods.
The key is making sure you’re playing with wax safely and consensually so everyone can have maximum enjoyment. Here is everything you need to know from why people love to get wax-y, to the types of candles to use, and how to experiment safely.
Let’s get into it.
What is wax play?
Wax play is when you take liquid wax—usually from a lit candle—and drip it over your partner’s body. The purpose of this is to create sensations—also known as sensation play. Sensations can include warmth, tingling, and even pain, depending on what you’re going for and the type of wax used.
Wax play is intended to amplify pleasure both in more vanilla forms of sex and in kink scenes. As far as kinky play goes, wax is a pretty accessible tool that can be used by one and all—as long as you do it safely and with the right stuff.
In kink, candle wax bdsm play is used as a part of power exchange. The Dom may choose to drip wax over the sub as a form of consensual ‘punishment’ to enhance sensation, and increase pleasure.
Why people enjoy wax play?
Sex and kink are sensation-heavy—and finding ways to boost our sense of smell, taste, touch, sight, and sound can help to intensify pleasure—and even lead to stronger orgasms. The feeling of wax dripping over the skin can really bring you into your body and force you to focus on what you’re feeling.
In power exchange dynamics wax can be a useful tool in establishing D/s dynamics. For some, the feeling of wax may be specifically centred on pain, which can enhance sexual pleasure for some kinky folx.
Some of the appeal of wax kink can also be the anticipation of the unknown. Folx will often combine blindfolds, bondage, and other forms of kink play, wherein the sub doesn’t know exactly when and where on the body the wax might be coming. And, well, this can be very hot.
Basically, what you get out of candlewax and sex is pretty subjective, but it can enhance sexual pleasure and excitement in a relatively accessible way. After all, you just need a candle, a willing partner, and enthusiasm to make it happen.
Types of wax
Put those tea lights back in the cupboard because they are not the go-to candles for this kind of play!
If you’re going to play with wax, you should opt for low-temperature candles that are specifically for wax play. These candles—often referred to as massage candles—are designed to be used for massage and sensation play. The wax heats up to a warm temperature, keeping it skin-safe.
Of course, some people may really be going for pain as a part of their desired experience, so they may choose to use regular candles. While this isn’t something we can recommend, we also can’t tell people what to do with their bodies.
Does wax play hurt or mark the body?
If you use a low-temperature candle designed for wax play it won’t hurt or mark the body. Since these candles are designed to remain at skin-safe temperatures, the wax will be warm and lovely, rather than painful and scalding.
If you choose to use a regular candle—such as a tealight or a candlestick—you’re pretty likely to cause burns and marks. These likely won’t be severe, but they can be very painful. Anyone who has touched a hot stove knows how uncomfortable a burn can be. You should also be mindful of scarring, as even minor burns can cause this.
4 ways to try wax play safely:
1. Communicate with your partner
Before you do anything, communication needs to happen and consent needs to be fully and enthusiastically obtained. Have a conversation with your partner to talk through what kinds of sensations you want to experience, what kinds of kink and sex acts might be involved during the play, and establish a safe word.
Communication should be ongoing throughout the play. Checking in ensures that everyone involved is having a good time and feels safe.
2. Choose the right gear
You want to be sure you’re purchasing candles designed to be used on the skin. The last thing you want is blisters when you’re going for a good time, you know? Some good starting options are from Lovehoney, Bondara, and Maude.
Be sure to patch-test the candles on the skin before going full-on, to make sure the temperature is right and the ingredients aren’t irritating for you.
3. Start slowly
As with all forms of new play, start slowly and take your time. It’s OK to feel silly or awkward at first—you’re just learning! Have patience and be willing to go with the flow.
Start with the thighs, booty, and legs. See how it feels, check in with your partner, and go from there. You can then move to sexier bits—such as the nipples. You can even try experimenting with wax on penises and pubic region if you’re feeling extra saucy. Just avoid dripping wax on the vulva, as the oils can be irritating and possibly lead to decidedly unsexy things such as a yeast infection.
Once you feel confident in your wax play skills, you might want to try bringing in a blindfold. This can amplify the excitement, as your partner will have no idea when and where the wax is coming.
4. Invest in aftercare
Aftercare is all the lovely stuff we do in order to ‘come down’ and ease back into reality after a scene. Trying new forms of play and kink can trigger a lot of intense emotions. Be gentle with yourself and your partner.
Aftercare can look like checking in and talking through the scene, having a cup of tea together, taking a shower, cuddling, or anything else that helps you feel at ease. Negotiate with your partner beforehand to establish the aftercare that would be most suited for you.
Happy waxing!