Birds do It… Bees do it…
But do they really? We’re talking about fun facts this May for National Masturbation Month.
National Masturbation Month is a global celebration of self-love in May and is older than you might think. Its inaugural year was 1995 when Joclyn Elders, the 15th Surgeon General of the USA, was ‘forced to resign’ after causing outrage by her forward-thinking approach to sex education. Her scandalous opinion? To teach young people about their bodies, contraception and masturbation. As a protest and to stand in solidarity with Joclyn, Good Vibes sex toy store launched a day of masturbation on May 7th 1995, which has now expanded to National Masturbation Month and is celebrated the world over.
So, in honour of all those taking part, let’s take a trip down a Masturbation Month rabbit hole together and explore some facts you may or not know.
We’re not the only mammals masturbating this month
And we’ll start our rabbit hole burrowing with the fun fact that humans are most certainly not the only animals to indulge in a bit of solo stress relief. If you’ve ever had a dog hump your leg, you might be able to verify that they do indeed get randy too and will often find a way to ease their frustrations on a nearby leg, teddy or cushion.
Bull elephants have huge penises, each with an accompanying muscle strong enough to heft its hard-on up and against its own belly—which it does enthusiastically. Male horses also do a similar solo belly-smacking dick dance and mares rub their booties against fences and posts to get off. Fruit bats and walruses can self-fellate, and birds rub their cloaca openings to get relief on rocks and other hard objects. So, it’s certainly not a practice exclusively for humans. But my favourite animal masturbation fact has to be that a bull moose can climax solely by rubbing his antlers on tree bark. Horny fun indeed!
We use some very interesting items to masturbate with too, it’s not just those moose.
Strangest objects used as sex toys to masturbate with
It turns out that hairbrushes or more specifically the handles of hairbrushes, have been used a lot by women for many years for penetration during masturbation. Electric toothbrushes are an absolute classic for clitoral stimulation, mimicking some pretty powerful vibrators. Soft furnishings, teddies, staircase bannisters, TV remote controls, phones set to vibrate as the ringtone—you name it, we’ve used it!
We are a creative lot when it comes to finding things to get us off and it’s not just the obvious phallic shaped vegetables either. For those penises, you can make your own masturbation ‘tube’ by filling a rubber glove with lube and rolling it up in a towel, ensuring the opening is free, secure the towel to your preferred tightness and bingo—your very own date with yourself is ready. A strategically cut hole in a melon is a great choice and if you’ve seen the film, American Pie… well, let’s leave the foodstuffs there shall we…
Oh go on… just one more…
Ginger root! Peeled and carved into a flared-base butt plug shape, this gender-neutral sex toy gem can be used for anal orgasms to give an extra spicy edge to solo time. Use caution and research ‘figging’ before you try!
Joining National Masturbation Month is good for you!
The benefits of masturbation are far-reaching—from curing headaches, relieving stress, perfecting your own pleasure technique, and increasing libido to releasing those wonderful feel-good hormones, doing the double-digit-dive is a must for our wellbeing. Studies have even shown that regular masturbation and ejaculation in men could help reduce the risk of Prostate Cancer.
It hasn’t always been a cause for celebration as historian Dr Kate Stephenson explains, back in 19th century things were very different, and masturbation was blamed for all sorts of maladies from physical ailments to mental health disorders.
“Patient admission forms to hospitals and asylums and at the Royal Edinburgh Hospital, 15 female and 16 male patients were diagnosed with “Insanity of Masturbation” in the four years between 1862 and 1866.”
Of course, these symptoms demanded a cure and devices like the toothed cockring, chastity belts, and even administering electric shocks were used to prevent masturbation. Now though, we can find these things to enhance our masturbation! Oh how times have changed. Even our aforementioned figging was once used as punishment back in the day. It’s never been a more exciting era for those who are adventurous in their pursuit of solo pleasure.
But where is the strangest place to masturbate?
If you think people mainly stick to the privacy of the bedroom for masturbation, you might be surprised to learn of other weird and wonderful places where solo sex has, and is very much still taking place…
Depending on your Kegels, you might be lucky enough that contracting your pelvic floor is enough to induce orgasm—so you are pretty much free to have a discreet climax where and whenever you like! Who knows when those vibrations on a bus or train might get you going.
According to this survey by Lovers, 55% of respondents have gone al fresco and had a wank in the great outdoors. 37% have masturbated at a friend’s house, and another 16% at a family function! But the group that has piqued my interest more than the others is the 39% who reported masturbating at work… 18% of those respondents said they had a private browser open while at their desk so they could watch their favourite porn while filling in those spreadsheets… read on to find out why this might be a great idea for you.
Masturbation May – Whose wanking at work?
During the great indoors of the early 20’s we heard of people getting caught out on Zoom calls attending to their personal matters while working from home, and what about if your job involves being isolated in different ways. What if your work also includes extended periods of time on the job – e.g. space station, submarine or suchlike… one to ask the careers advisor if you’re a horny little devil prior to signing up. Wanking at work was the focus of this survey by Chemist4U which showed that quite a lot of us bunk off for a bit of solo bonking during working hours—but one of the most fascinating discoveries of this study was the statistic on high earners. According to the replies, the more you masturbate during the 9-5, the more money you earn. So it begs the question… which came first? The money or… you?! I think it’s well worth a bit of experimentation to see how our earning potential increases with our handy habits!
One of my favourite things I’ve found while researching this article is custom-printed wanky hankies —so you can wipe your sexy solo emissions with a face of your choice. Imagine! Some are beautiful hand-embroidered rude word handkerchiefs, and others… well… you choose what you print!
Are all wanks and wankers made equal?
Several masturbation surveys have been undertaken over recent years so we have quite clear evidence that a lot of people do enjoy their own bodies and quite right too.
However, this 2024 study from Lovehoney highlights the gender gap in masturbation, showing that men wank on average more than double the amount of times that women do. I don’t know about you but I am quite a competitive person so stats like this bring out the wannabe winner in me.
Another study from PureWow drills down a bit deeper into the female stats and offers a deeper insight into HOW we are masturbating, when and with what. Most of us girls prefer to use an adult toy for women to get off, but it’s a very close-run thing with our hands. We also enjoy visual stimulation by watching porn but prefer to masturbate alone. Only 12% would do with a partner present, and phone and screen solo sex is even less popular with only 3.3% saying they masturbate while on a call.
Let’s get ready for this year’s National Masturbation Month together
While masturbation is a solo sex pursuit, it does bring me comfort to know that all around the world, people are quite literally coming together to celebrate and enjoy 31 days of self-love and personal satisfaction.
In a time where we might feel the spectre of censorship is upon us or that our right to our bodily autonomy and access to good sex education is being squeezed out, we can take a moment to breathe and go into our own mind and body and know deep within our heart and soul that our orgasms are ours, and we deserve them.
So I for one, will be taking it upon myself to give thanks to those who have gone before us to blaze a trail for our right to pleasure by joining in National Masturbation Month as much as possible and do our bit to close that gender gap!
Our erotic films have female masturbation and male orgasm masturbation categories to inspire while getting you horny and encourage you to try new things. For a more factual approach, we have an extensive sex education hub where you can explore the delights of orgasms with our adult guides on how to improve your own.
We’d love to know your favourite masturbation facts and figures, feel free to post your tips or naughty stories in the comments. You might even be inspired to share a sexy solo confession here.
Happy Masturbation May!